So as soon as I saw that this weeks theme over at I heart faces was 'Hands On' - This photo came to mind. I took it at our last tournament (The guy on the bottom is my teammate Jim)
With Brazillian Jui-Jitsu, grips (ie Hands!) are very important - you fight for them and hang on for dear life if you get a good one. I love how in this photo things look deceptively calm - until you see the hands...they are griping and working with a purpose - showing the strength and the struggle. It is definately at 'Hands On' sport!
Anyway enough of me getting all philosophical about Jui-Jitsu! lol
Enjoy.
So this past weekend was a fantastic experience. I went to my first Brazilian Jui-Jitsu tournament. I feel that my eyes have been opened to so many new concepts and sides to jui jitsu that I was not even aware of. I got to roll 2 rounds which was great. I lost both but I still feel as though I walked away with far more than I walked in with. It was also really fun, and yes, really stressful/nerve wracking competing once again!
I also absolutely loved watching my teammates compete and in so every case do sooo well. I wasn't expecting to get so pumped watching them! I surprised myself and probably scared some other spectators with my exuberance - although I think most of our team was pretty great at cheering each other on! I was especially pumped and screaming my head off when my training partner Katie won gold in our division. So cool.
So yes it was a good weekend.
So I really don't know how this will come out and if any of it will resemble coherent thought but I decided to give it a go anyway.
My mind has just been a whirring away lately primarily between three predominate trains of thought: Being a Mother, Being a Photographer, Being a Brazilian Jui-Jitsu White Belt. Sounds big right!? Don't worry, I'll summarize.
As a mom right now I am trying to be deliberate. 'Let's Colour', 'Let's Cuddle and Watch Dora', 'Let's Make Banana Bread' and I have to say that has been awesome. I really do want my kids to remember more than me cleaning the house and being grumpy all the time because of it. On the flip side I have really been trying to be more patient - I am especially short tempered when I am trying to get something done. When that task switch is flipped in the on position it is SO hard to turn it off. *sigh*
As a Photographer right now I am feeling totally impotent. lol I actually told Ed the other night that, "I feel like a sperm donor that is shooting blanks". Then we both laughed and I wondered what a Freudian phychologist would have to say about that! Weird metaphors aside though I have felt uninspired and a little frustrated lately. So much of it is that anything that I want to do with photography takes time....task oriented time....that I don't want to subject my children to!! Trying to figure out the balance to make time for things I love and want to develop vs the time my family needs from me is very trying.
My white belt and me are quite happy with each other right now. That one nice little stripe on it makes me happy too. They speak to hard work but really no skill. Which is really ok with me at this point because it tells the world - 'Please don't expect too much of me - I'm new!! I enjoy learning without the pressure that I shouldn't be making such silly mistakes. I make silly mistakes left and right but I don't feel bad I just laugh and try again. It is very therapeutic.
I do have a tournament this weekend though that is messing with my whole 'learn at my own pace' thing. I am pitting myself against others that have been learning and training hard - and I am 99.9% sure that I don't have nearly enough skill or training to be attempting this. I think it will take a miracle for me to just survive the five minutes. It is freaking me out a bit, I've been cramming like I would be for a major exam but like cramming for a test I have that same sinking feeling that it is too little, too late.
At this point I hope I walk away intact.
So yes my brain is buzzing. It's not bad but its definitely hard to focus. Thus the random blog post.
I was just messing around with some photos that I took with my little camera - I loved Gabriels face and expression but the camera quality was driving me nuts, SOOO I played around in GIMP for a bit and accentuated all the flaws that made it look like a photo from 20yrs ago and added my own little touches and voila...something I can look at without cringing! lol
Still gotta love his little face though.
The most challenging part of this week was the little catch that we were not supposed to go digging into our archives for our favorite face photo - recent?? Have I been taking photos recently?? Over the holidays between traveling and all the other celebratory chaos my poor camera usually ends up getting dragged everywhere are rarely taken out!
Then I remembered that at one of those family events I was asked to snap some pictures of one of my cousins for my aunt. Phew. So without any further ado...here's my cousin :)
The answer is yes I do BUT I have rather creative children that apparently have too much time and space on their little hands! There have been several large catastrophes in the last six months and so many mini ones I can't keep count. Let me recap - Well it all started with sharpie markers and scissors - both can make changes that are almost permanent!! Eliana's art on our walls and hair that is about 6 different lengths can attest to this. The day I found the two of them COVERED in Vaseline sliding around Gabe's room stands out for me. To clean them up we had to cover them in cornstarch which was a lot more fun for me that I would care to admit. 
Most recently Eliana began her cooking career in her bedroom - six boxes of jello powder, a small bowl and a cup of water can make one heck of a mess. Funny thing is that Gabriel's job was to stir the concoction with a toy golf club (I spied on them before I made the bust!). Just this morning Eliana decided to feed Selah(our dog) our last 2 Lt's of milk!!! 
