Thoughts on Becoming Piglet

OK, so I need to clarify, in referring to myself as piglet I am not referencing my ability to pack back the snacks; although, this being the Thanksgiving/Halloween season I sure have been!! Rather it reflects how I am comming to view myself - as Winnie the Pooh's, well intentioned but cowardly friend.

You see I have been feeling a little conflicted as of late without really being able to pin down what was exactly bothering me. Don't you hate that!! Of course this blog is a culmination of several different conversations and life lessons that have all brought me to this point. One thought that has been very prevalent these past few months is the idea of being faithful with whatever we have been given. BIG. little. Whatever it is - to be a faithful steward.

For those of you with a bit of bible knowledge this echos the parable of the talents. When this whole journey started I was just handed the responsibility of our family finances...yikes!! For anyone who knows me at all you might be able to guess that math and other such anomalies, like numbers, are just beyond me. This being said though I wanted to take on this challenge and "Be faithful".

Where my conflict began is when the idea of faithfulness started creeping into other areas of of my life. Two separate parts of my journey here collided...this idea of faithfulness met Proverbs 31, the noble woman.

Damn, I think I found the perfect way to fail.

So now faithfulness has just taken a leap from good accounting - to something else entirely. Talents no longer just represented how we spent our money but more so what I was doing personally with the passions that lay buried at the moment in my own heart. The question that has been plaguing me is, "what do I do with them!!??"
And unfortunately the answer I know, USE THEM, is some how not so easy to swallow. The lump in my throat is pure fear and cowardice. On one hand this does seem like a pretty feeble excuse.

On the other hand I am suddenly sympathizing with the third servant. What if rather than just lazy he really was just afraid of failing, rejection, or disappointing his master. What if he, recognizing that his talent was lesser - I mean he was given the smallest amount - recognized that he could only ever achieve mediocre results. That's daunting. Obviously the master and I have differing opinions on this third servant. Which of course sucks because the Master is Christ and he and I are not seeing eye to eye right now. Although there is something that is reverberating around in my soul speaking to me even now. I think a key might lie somewhere in an idea I read about this week, God confidence, maybe in the this case it could be renamed Master confidence. What if the third servant had confidence in his Master enough to know that if he gave him a talent it was for a purpose bigger than sitting in a hole in the ground. Just because it was small meant nothing, maybe the Master knew the heart of his servant and knew he needed a softer place to start from. Maybe the servant just needed to trust the Master.

Hmmmmm

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Piglet was comforted by this.