An Adventure in Driving and Letting Go...

Well first off I think I am finally happy with my new background.  It drives me to distraction when I feel my blogger background doesn't 'fit' with what I am writing here. Usually I end up with some OCD type focus until I find just the right one and I think this is it! Phew. 


Ok. Yes I had an Adventure. I went away for a whole weekend without my kids or husband! This was the first trip all by myself since my kids were born - so to say the least it was a weird feeling. My sisters and I headed down to Tacoma and attended a Beth Moore Conference.  This was also a first for me.  I so enjoyed the teaching and the time away.  There were so many good things I enjoyed all weekend long. Sounds pretty benign right?  I really think it should have been but I will try to express to you the level of anxiety I had the entire time!


I am not a long trip driver for starters...when on long trips my favourite thing to do is cuddle up in a blanket and zonk out for as long as possible. This time though I was THE driver and as silly as it is I was a little antsy about this.  We started our trip on Thursday and didn't get into Vancouver till 9:30pm (fyi this is past a momma's optimal functioning time)  It was pouring rain and dark (obviously) and the stress just got to me.  We stopped for a half hour calm down session and then continued on.  My youngest sister played the alphabet game with me which really helped. lol Silly Simple but focusing on something other than the crazy roads helped.
The next morning we went out for a nice breaky before heading to the states - which meant I navigated through Vancouver before heading off to tackle boarder guards, the interstate, and finally Seattle/Tacoma. Each new situation brought on a new variation of the stress that had been with me since I pulled away from my house. After getting lost several times and taking wrong turns a few more times we finally made it to the Tacoma Dome. Wow.
We got settled into our seats and Beth got up and began to share that we were going to be talking about ROAD SIGNS. 
I just about fell over right there.  I was supposed to be unwinding from driving not learning lessons about it.
To make a long story much shorter Beth spoke on the premise of three points - STOP YIELD GO.
For me it meant STOP - gnawing every detail of my life to death with worry and anxiousness.
YIELD-those concerns and yield myself to God's will in our life (instead of trying to control everything - which by the way we CANNOT do...another fyi)
GO - Go in Peace! I don't (and can't) control everything in my life but I can let go and yield these things to God and live in a measure of peace that is impossible when we try to do it on our own.


So to say the least this is not an instant lesson and I have had to remind myself of this frequently already but as I drove out of Seattle and off the interstate and into Vancouver and then home - I felt a sense of empowerment - I had conquered roads. BIG SCARY ROADS. (You may roll your eyes now  - I know they are JUST roads lol)  But for me it was an illustration of victory over anxiety and fear - one which I want to continue to play out in my life over and over so I am not living in fear but freedom.  

What's in A Name...

Ok...I'll spill the beans.
I wasn't gonna blog this particular story because if you have are around me at all you have probably heard it.
But for the rest of you out there that get a kick out of the bizarre situations I sometimes get myself in - This ones for you.


Ok so a couple of weeks ago I was doing some photos at a ladies event at my church. I was surprised to find out that the woman speaking, Berty N, at the event had a familiar story and name.  She was a south african woman married to a doctor and her name was so familiar because I had just been referred to her husband.  This in itself was kinda cool - doctors are kinda like celebrities in that it is easy to forget that they are normal people with lives outside of the hospital!
Anyway but there was something else about this woman that I was more excited by...I was pretty sure I had met her before - a couple of years earlier.  I had been at a friends birthday party and been introduced to a south african woman that was married to a doctor and I had so enjoyed our visit.  She was just one of those people that was easy to relate to and memorable for that very reason.
So back to the church where my powers of deduction were putting all the pieces of the puzzle together.  Flash forward to the end of the night when I had the opportunity to say hello to this woman. I was nervous to introduce myself but still buzzing from the photo session I was just finishing up (Yup photography gives me more energy than a red bull!)
So here I am jittery nervous lady and I just walk right up to this woman and introduce myself thusly,
"Helloi'mKateIthinkimetyouacoupleyearsago!?ItwasonlyonceatabirthdaypartybutIjustthoughtitwasneattoseeyouagainAndguesswhatIjustfiguredoutthatIhavebeenreferredtoyourhusband...."
I kinda petered out at this point because my brain had caught up with my mouth and I realized she was standing there politely awkward - not recognizing me back and frankly looking a little skeptical at this crazy photographer who was verbally accosting her. It dawned on me that if she didn't know me she would know my friend who had invited her to the party, thus proving I was not crazy.
"Do you know Christie S?" 
"No"
"Oh. Hmm. Ok"
And that was the end of the conversation.


Oh Boy. I was confused. So I called my friend Christie and asked her who in the world she had invited to her party?!  Sure enough it was a south african woman married to a doctor - named Paula - Not Berty. Wow.

In retrospect I should have known better. I mean in this area if you are a south african woman chances are you ARE married to a doctor! We have quite a few within a relatively small area.
Well to say the least I am off to meet Berty's husband today (Doc appointment) but there is no way that I am going to mention that I met his wife!! lol

I Heart Faces - Favourite Face of February (FOFF)

This little cutie was such a bundle of charismatic energy and had me moving the whole session (got my work out for the day!) So I was happy to find that I had captured this thoughtful look on her little face.  Its all about those beautiful brown eyes! If you want to check out a few of the other shots we got click here

Just of the Kids..

My kids bring me so much joy. I just want to ramble some of momma ramblings about these two little buttons.


Every night Gabe's prayer goes like this - " Thank you me nana, Thank you me papa, Thank you me mama, Thank you me daddy.....and on and on until he runs out of family and people he can remember and then we start on round two. Its so precious.

that look just means trouble lol

He is a milk thief, for real, every morning the kids go and grab their milk out of the fridge but Gabe has figured out if he wakes up early he can drink both cups and then innocently crawl back into bed!  So we often wake up to Eliana's distressed cry that Gabe has stolen her milk again.  I don't know where we are going with this parenting wise but Ed's solution is to hide Eliana's milk in a special place in the fridge and so far that works most the time. lol

why the comb?? 

He also loves being a super hero and a dinosaur so at any point in the day you can hear him roaring or see him running past you in a cape with his arms out flying.  He and Eliana came up with called stuffy heros...I don't know what it really entails but I know there is a lot of running and flying and hero type work and then randomly Gabe will switch characters and become a dinosaur again and start roaring. Always makes me smile.


Eliana is at such a neat stage right now. She is so grown up that it keeps shocking me when she shows off her sense of humour or just how much she is learning and figuring out.  The other day I asked her to help me find the computer mouse.  She then went and very deliberately found our cats mouse toy and brought it to me cracking up the whole time. She thought she was so funny (I did too actually so we had a good laugh together)
We were driving into town the other day and Eliana saw a sign on a store and she says to me, "mom, I know how to spell store - S A F E W A Y" I was amazed because I didn't realize how good she was getting at recognizing her letters and it was frankly just pretty darn cute.


One of the funniest things the kids have done to date happened just the other morning. My kids are both VERY sensitive to sound. Like toilets flushing, hair dryers, blenders, vacuum cleaners...anything remotely loud sends them crying and or screaming to their rooms. Ed (ingenious dad that he is) has two sets of construction ear 'muffs' (I know they are probably called something else more manly...lol)  
Anyway if I am vacuuming or using the blender or anything like that the kids will run and put on their ear muffs.

pepper looks a little less
than thrilled lol

So now that you have this important backstory, you will understand why I was quite startled and confused when the other morning I was standing in the kitchen and all of a sudden our radio was BLARING.  Like shake the shingles blaring.  I couldn't even try to call into them to turn it down. I marched into the living room ready to set the world strait and ended up laughing and running for our video camera.
For there in the living room were both kids absolutely buck naked running around dancing to the music for all they were worth both wearing their ear muffs. Nothing but their ear muffs.
Such a great moment.


In the day to day it is sometime so easy to forget what little treasures you have running around the house.  Laundry and dishes can suck the life right out of a body - but I am so glad that I get to be here and watch my kids grow and change and just be kids.  They breath life right back in that hole the laundry left...lol

Hope Springs....

It never ceases to amaze me the power of time away.  I am not even talking about an amazing two week vacation at a tropical location - all four of us actually went just a couple of hours away to have a sleep over with some friends. 


How sweet it is to be out of your own home and environment, that at least for me is a constant reminder of every responsibility I have in my life, and rest in the company of friends.  We have such great friends who are masters at hospitality and I am SO grateful to have them in our lives.


This short little spurt was especially meaningful to me right now.  It was the breath of fresh air I needed. I was out of the snow and into that land of spring.  It made me giddy to put my kids into running shoes and not worry about 15 layers of clothing. On a more substantial level I think just being away gave my mind some space to process some of what I have been learning and walking through as a family lately.  


The word of God has been such a comfort to me lately...its as if the words are meant just for me  - just at this time.  How cool is Jesus.


As a new years challenge we have been memorizing a new verse every couple of weeks.  I chose the following passage more arbitrarily than not - only to be astounded over and over again as it has proven absolute applicable in almost every area of our life since the year began.

Proverbs 3:5-12

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

and do not rely on your own insight.

In all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make straight your paths.

Be not wise in your own eyes;

fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.

It will be healing to your flesh,

and refreshment to your bones.

Honor the Lord with your substance

and the first fruits of all your produce;

they your barns will be filled with plenty,

and your vats will be bursting with wine.

My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline

or be weary of his reproof,

for the Lord reproves him whom he loves,

as a father the son in whom he delights."

I Heart Red

What Can I Say

I have to say that this year so far has been weird.  Every time I have sat down and thought, 'hey i should blog'...I have been at a loss.  Its not because I haven't had anything going on but quite the opposite.
I posted the above you tube clip 1 - because it is VERY funny and 2 - because I totally get this whole 'crisis of confidence' phrase right now!


Our family is in a weird season of what feels like transition and change.  I feel as though there are seismic waves, of varying intensity, sweeping through our life and challenging the way we view stability.  "Oh you thought that was a given?? A sure thing?? Lets just shake that up a bit!!" 
And that sure leaves me feeling insecure and given to a certain amount of anxiety.  When shaken down to its root it always seems to come back to two foundational questions for me. "Is God big enough to deal with this" and the even more importantly "Is He Good."  They are such hard questions to grapple with and you know a couple of months ago I would have had very little trouble answering YES! to both.  
Right now, it is only by faith that I can even squeak out a small little yes . I know what I believe but sometimes that 'crisis of confidence' is absolutely immobilizing.
I hug my chest and cry to the Father to help me see and to walk through this season with some measure peace even though I am blind to His hand moving and guiding us.


So pardon my 'tongue tied' blog as we navigate these unknown waters before us.  I am so grateful for all of you who share in our life and our journey - day to day and 'virtual' friends alike :)