Beautiful Mess

Crafting Genius

2011-11-22T18:05:00.000-08:00

So I thought I would inspire you all with my crafting genius. The holiday season is when crafters come out of the closet and paste their beautiful creations around their homes and share them with friends and family.

Well this is me sharing...although you may not want to follow suit - I thought you would want a chance to admire our fine work. Although I can't take much of the credit Gabe and Eliana did most of the original artwork. :)

Morning Devotional...

2011-11-16T22:01:00.000-08:00

Well after my long absence from blogging I am apparently making my comeback with a rather personal reflection but it is God's work that I know that He is working out in more than just my life. So welcome to my morning devotional. Tomorrow morning I will be sharing this at the staff meeting at my school - I covet your prayers in this.

I don't now about you but there are seasons in life, or perhaps it is just a fact of life, that is full of sorrow as well as joy. I so loved Linda's reminder last week about counting our blessings and keeping our eyes on God's goodness and faithfulness in the big and small things. With that very premise in mind I wanted to take a peak at a slightly different angle of this - being able to see God's goodness and faithfulness even in the midst of our own pain and suffering.
Obviously in our communities right now we feel the weight of sin - the overwhelming sorrow of loss and I know in a much less dramatic circumstances I have sometimes found myself equally disillusioned by what I have perceived was a lack of God's goodness. I have been reading "One Thousand Gifts" by Anne Voskamp and I wanted to share the quotes that struck me so profoundly that I felt that gut wrenching guilt because I knew her honest voice was echoing the voice in my heart.

Ann relates the beginning of her journey of living a life of thanksgiving by sharing her honest feelings about trusting God - even as a Christian

"Is this the toxic air of the world, this atmosphere we inhale, burning into our lungs, this -No, God? No, God, we won't take what You give. No, God, Your plans are a gutted bleeding mess and I didn't sign up for this and You really thought I'd go for this? No, God, this is ugly and this is a mess and can't you get anything right and just haul all this pain out of here and I'll take it from here, thanks. And God? Thanks for nothing. Isn't this the human inheritance, the legacy of the Garden?
I wake and put the feet to the plank floors, and I believe the Serpent's hissing lie, the repeating refrain of his campaign through the ages: God isn't good. It's the cornerstone of his movement. That God withholds good from His children, that God does not genuinely, fully, love us."

For me this lie has whispered in the back of my mind. Through the past couple years I have especially felt myself giving way before this lie. A Good, Sovereign, God who does nothing, while I watch those close to me loose husbands and children - mothers and fathers. While I watch personal injustices go unaccounted for - the widow taken advantage of, the fatherless cast aside. I have felt my heart scream as Anne screams. I just never had the courage to say it aloud. I felt as if I was one before the firing line and the suffering continually hit closer and closer to home. I was afraid if I spoke out against the one with gun the wound would be more than I could bear. But I continued to read...and God continued to speak to my scared broken heart and bring more revelation.

Again I rob another's words that so adequately capture the hope in it all.

"If the rent in the canvas of our life backdrop, the losses that puncture our world, our own emptiness, might actually become places to see.
To See through to God.
That which tears open our souls, those holes that splatter our sight, may actually become the thin, open places to see through the mess of this place to the heart-aching beauty beyond. To Him. To the God whom we endlessly crave."

When we can step back from ourselves, like Linda reminded us last week, we can catch a glimpse of an Eternal God. Who sees the grand tapestry and not the tangled thread. When I step back and take a moment to recognize who I am accusing - I am appropriately reminded "Who am I?" Who am I to know the mind and plans of Almighty God.
So what then?
Even as lately as this past Sunday I was reminded that I need to hold up my shield of faith to protect my heart and mind from the lies of the enemy and that I need to soak myself in the truth of God's word and in who He says he is. To remember that His grace is sufficient, that He loves with an everlasting love, that He is Good, That He is God. In the midst of chaos and sadness - injustice and sorrow. He is still God and He still wants to open our eyes to His goodness.

My Thoughts on Week Three...

2011-09-20T20:37:00.000-07:00

To put it mildly this fall has brought a few changes. On purely an emotional note I feel like I have jumped out of one of Mary Poppins chalk paintings into the real world.
I have been so lucky to have spent the last 5 yrs at home with my two kids but this year was the big leap back into 'real life'.

Eliana has started full time kindergarten and has been on a permanent adrenaline high. Her mission has been to makes as many friends and learn as many things as she can. Her teacher assured me that she is adjusting well and is very confidant. I am still trying to decipher if that means - "your daughter is taking over the class". lol

Gabriel is so lucky to have one of his favourite people as his 'Nanny'. He gets to stay home with 'Mimi' who has been doing a great job of planning little adventures and doing things that make him feel just as special staying home. He still is adjusting Eliana being gone and they are so adorable when they hug goodbye in the morning.

Tomorrow will be day five of my new job and I am totally enjoying the process of becoming an adult again! lol Its great to be working in such a great place and with such nice people. I am still working on how to carry on life while working...I'll let you know how that goes. Chances are though if I haven't blogged in a while, its because I am buried under a pile of laundry and need to be rescued.

Ed as always is my tangible sticking place. I thank Jesus so much for bringing us together and giving me someone who knows just how seriously to take me.

SO I have to say - so far so good. There are pros and cons in this new life that we have but I know that God's grace is sufficient and I am confident that we are right where He wants us to be - learning and growing in the ways we need to learn and grow right now.

I Heart Faces - Back to School!

2011-09-12T09:38:00.000-07:00

My oldest just finished her first week of Kindergarten...big week in our family. So this challenge was mostly a challenge of which picture to go with!! I chose this one because the scope of the photo makes her look even tinier and I think every momma thinks their 'baby' is still to tiny to be going to school on the first day of kindergarten!

Apple Sauce Crotch

2011-09-12T07:36:00.000-07:00

Last week was Eliana's first week of Kindergarten and the first week of a new kind of life for this family. Getting up before 7:30 is new for the kids and I but I have no doubt we will adjust quickly.

The funniest thing Eliana came home saying this past week was 'apple sauce crotch'. Knowing that I was loosing something in translation I asked for the context and learned that every time they sat down at group time they would say 'apple sauce crotch, put your hands in your lap'. I couldn't decoded it until I conferred with some other moms - sure enough it made a lot more sense as
"Criss Cross Apple Sauce - Put your hands in your lap"
This helps the kids sit cross legged for group time.

I love that I can look forward to all sorts of new adventures and 'lost in translation' moments in the coming year.

Our Family Vacation

2011-08-15T09:54:00.000-07:00

We left this past week for our first organized family vacation. We have done lots of other trips as a family but the focus of this one was to just relax and be a family together and I have to say it was the best yet. We made the short trip to the coast and spent the first afternoon greeting the ocean. Eliana was afraid of salt water for some reason but after much coaxing and a little squealing she got her feet wet and realized she could live through the encounter. We rounded out the afternoon watching some crab fishing from the dock and beach combing for shells.

The next day we bravely ventured into the big city to the aquarium which turned out to be a highlight for the kids. They were mesmerized by the sea life and in the end Eliana's favourite exhibits were the beluga whales and the jellyfish while Gabriel's favourite was the crocodile. I loved it all but was particularly thrilled to get to touch a bunch of different star fish (which feel like rough rocks) and a sea urchin (which is really poky). The only one I didn't like touching was a star fish that looks kinda like a sunflower (lots of points) because it was slimy and squishy.

The next day was exciting for Ed and I - the airshow. It is our third year in a row going and it is so awe inspiring that it just isn't getting old. The kids loved it too and it was fun to watch them getting into the displays and getting excited for the loud planes (CF-18's!!) and bombs (pyrotechnics :)

Actually after the first set of pyrotechnics was set off Eliana was very distressed and asked Ed, "Why are they bombing Canada??" lol she was ok once we explained it was just part of the show. Gabriel on the other hand...I don't know if he even noticed the jets sometimes - he just wanted to see more 'bombs' lol I guess that is a boy for you. There were so many great planes and pilots at the airshow I would be sure to bore you with the details so I will summarize: A-10 is amazing in its capabilities, Bud Granley and his son defy everything you assume about flight, and the Snowbirds put on one of the best shows I have ever seen them do.

The entire trip we were able to stay with some dear friends which made our evenings just as memorable as our days. The kids loved playing with 'little sammy' and martina and are still talking about them non stop. On Saturday morning Leanne and I went blueberry picking and it was such a great way to spend a morning. While we were out the boys made waffles and bacon so we were treated to a nice breakfast when we got back. Ed's blood pressure was through the roof but he made some great waffles :)

That evening when we returned home we went to the drive in to wrap our whole trip up. It was a perfect end to a great trip. I love my hubby and kids and it was a great way to take the time to just enjoy who we are to each other.

Of Chickens

2011-08-02T10:57:00.000-07:00

If I had thought about what this summer would hold for us this year, you can be sure that I thought that there would be more sunny days and fewer chickens.

I wanted to share a few photos of our grown up chicks and proclaim that I would not make a very good farmer. Despite my efforts to remain emotionally aloof to our little feathered charges I got sucked in by how friendly they are!
If they hear me coming they start to peep and all line up at the fence for their feed. Eliana is packing them around the yard at this very moment like they were well mannered cats. They rest in her arms or at her feet while Gabe collects flowers for them to nibble on.

Ah the life of a chicken.

Of Order and Randomness

2011-07-18T22:15:00.000-07:00

Every once and a while as a parent - your child does something that reflects the essence of who they are, encompassed in moment.

Eliana had such a moment this evening. Both our kids have chores that they are asked to take care of. This evening I asked Eliana to line up the shoes on the back porch. She came in a few minutes later and stated that cleaning up shoes is fun. I didn't think to much of it at the time. She is normally a happy little thing and I had no doubt she completed her chore but this evening I found out why she had fun doing it.

The best way to describe it is that she did it her way. When I saw it I saw a part if herself in her little mini self expression. Each pair if shoes were lined up neatly with one another but not one pair was next to the other. She had some under the deck chairs. Others on the steps and the rest randomly paired all over the deck. This would have been how Gabriel would have paired them if they were scattered in the first place - the part that makes me smile even thinking about it now is that all the shoes were piled by the door. It makes me smile because my daughter is so delightfully and seemly arbitrarily random. I know though that each pair was deliberate - a part of her plan and she had fun doing it. She found joy in the little moments. I hope as a mother I can help raise her to be who she was created to be and not just someone that fits into a mold.
Lord help me.

Welcome to the Farm??

2011-06-16T13:42:00.000-07:00

So I am going to choose to share this story with you through the lens that God created me as an empathetic creature. I am hoping in doing this I will look less crazy and more just like someone who needs to hone her gifting.

Ok, so this is how it started.
I was born and I loved animals. Did you know that I once cared for a dead robin for a whole day? Yup I did such a good job that the next morning when I went to check on him he was gone. My mom told me he had flown home...(good one mom).
Flash forward 25 years.
I am now a photographer and I had a great opportunity to use some baby chickens as a part of a photo session for a family that owns a chicken farm. It was so fun. (watch for them on my Twisted Lily Blog in the next few days...sooo cute!!)

Anyway at the end of the session these little chick models were homeless. They couldn't go back into the barns and risk cross contaminating the barns with whatever 'wee beasties' they picked up in the real world. In other words they were gonna die. Approximately 6 weeks ahead of schedule.

I shouldn't have let it get to me but I just felt for the little homeless chicks. One short conversation later I was the proud? mom of 6 baby chicks.As I drove home with them sliding around in the cardboard box next to me - I tried to make a plan.

Actually I am still working on it. Mostly its a day by day thing.

Here are somethings I have learned in my 4 days as a chicken owner.

*Puppies laying next to chicks are NOT trying to be cute - they are waiting for the opportune moment to eat them.
*Respectively if you act fast enough you can grab a chick out of a dogs mouth with no apparent damage other than a mad chick and disappointed dog.
*Neighbours will follow your lead and 'rescue' small baby birds and leave them in your care (Short version of how we acquired Quacker Jack our duck)
*If you live in a small enough town you can literally walk into a convenience store and walk out with a huge bag of chicken feed - and a slurpee.
*Chickens take over your life when you are so afraid of something happening to them you let them sleep in your en suite bathroom every night.

After reading that last one I realized I might just be crazy and need some help. Ah well.

My Littlest Sis...

2011-06-06T13:02:00.000-07:00

This past weekend my littlest sis graduated from high school. It was a great event and such a treat to watch her hit this milestone and celebrate her with friends and family. With that in mind I thought it would be cool to share a little about this girl with all of you.

Megs is one of those people that has a really sweet warm spirit with an extra dose of playful mischievousness thrown in. It makes her a great friend and excellent sister! We are 12 years apart so growing up I mostly remember a little girl that was as cute as a button and a little on the quiet side but I had left the house before I really got to know the girl that I know now.

I love the change in the in the sibling relationship as you get older. Once I realized that I couldn't always look at her as that little girl - I found a friendship that has grown over the last few years. Meighan has always been a creative being. She has redesigned her room more times than I can count and I am always amazed how she can pull together colours and textures with such continuity. Decorating to me at most consists of a coat of paint and often far less - so this skill never ceases to amaze me. lol

In the past few years she has also taken to painting and her work is so beautiful. I love that her style reflects something of herself. Its always beautiful but some of her images are also strong and striking. Her strength has been born in adversity. She wasn't even in her teens yet when she was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. Thankfully we live in a country and time that allows her to manage it but it is not an easy burden to carry day in and out. Although to talk with her you would never know it. I think its the grace with which she handles it that impresses me the most. When she could be whining and moping she takes it in stride. Obviously she is human and has good and bad days but she has more good days than bad and is the type of person that will probably make other peoples day better by just being a part of it.
All of this said mostly I am just thankful to have a friend and sister like her. We can be goofy and laugh about stupid things and then the next moment we can have a great conversation. She has helped me with my house and kids so much that I have made a vow to myself that when she reaches this stage of life - I will be there to help!!! lol I am excited to watch her move forward and chase her dreams and figure out who she is and where she is going. I love ya Megs!!

Of Bullies...

2011-05-31T08:54:00.000-07:00

You know when you are young and imagine your adult life - the thought that bullies will still be around may not have crossed your mind. I know that my young self thought that the days of bullies would be far behind me.

But we grow up and life gets complicated and when a bully stands in front of you as an adult - it can make life that much more tricky. Now instead of teachers and parents there to intervene - your on your own. Of course there are always the police and the legal system but it is easy to say 'it is just not that bad'...until one day it is and now what! The choice to stand up for your self goes beyond sticking your tongue out or pushing back. Hopefully as adults 'we use our words' and begin to create healthier boundaries for ourselves and our families. In a perfect world the bully would be like, 'oh, wow, I had no idea that my behaviour was so offensive or my actions were having such undesirable consequences' LOL
Ya right hey! If only it were that easy. Instead of calming things down it often inflames things even further. Its hard to watch scenarios like this one because you can feel so powerless. Its hard watching bully's lie and manipulate authority so they look like the victim.
I honestly don't know how things work out from this point; life is not a movie. Things don't work out picture perfect, neat and tidy. What gives me hope is that although man may not see the whole picture and may not be just - God does and is.

Ps 71:4 "Rescue me, O my God, from the hand of the wicked, from the grasp of the unjust and cruel man"

Ps 22:8 "He trusts in the Lord; let him deliver him; let him rescue him, for he delights in him!"

FYI...

2011-05-24T11:43:00.000-07:00

So just an FYI...I am going to try to share my I heart Faces photos and such over on my Twisted Lily blog, in an effort to keep the photo 'stuff' there and the 'me' stuff here. I just thought I would give it a go - so feel free to pop on over there to check things out.

And if you really want to make my day become a follower!

Bring on the Warmth and Forget the Mess!

2011-05-19T15:39:00.000-07:00

I am so happy to finally be sitting outside in shorts. Its a balmy 22 degrees so we have the kiddy pool out and the kids are splashing away. I willingly embraced a full fledged war with dandelions (they have over taken our yard) because they actually are giving me permission to neglect laundry and dishes for the moment.
Nicest part is, I still get to feel productive because I mowed the lawn, finished some gardening and transplanted a bunch of strawberry plants into pots this morning.
The changing of seasons is such a good reminder that things move forward and that we do too - even when we can't see it. At the Beth Moore conference I remember her saying something along the lines that sometimes we can't see God's Hand moving because it's too close. I remember the image bringing much comfort in a season where I was constantly waiting for God to show up. To realize and remember that He is there - its a knowledge that I know needs to sink deeper into my heart.

So yes, here we are now, welcoming spring and finding myself thankful for dandelions and the unseen hand that has carries us through the seasons - seen and unseen.

I was a fly on the wall...

2011-05-09T18:14:00.000-07:00

I happened to overhear the following conversation between my daughter (4) and her friend big T (6)

Big T - " I am so strong that the other day I picked up my whole house and threw it into the ocean...but it didn't sink because I flew really fast and put a boat under it.

Me - "Oh wow, Big T, you must be a super hero."

Big T - "Ya, I even have super speed" (proceeds to run across the living room) " But actually it only works outside"

Eliana - "I am really fast (starts running all around the living room as fast as she can) See how fast I can run!!"

Then this is what gave me the giggles...

Eliana - "And I am really strong too - see I can lift this..chair! (as she stuggles to lift a kitchen chair 2 inches off the ground....lol)

I thought it was so adorable that Eliana was taking the whole conversation so literally...and I am pretty sure she really does think that Big T is a super hero.

I Heart Faces - Pets

2011-04-26T13:19:00.000-07:00

Some Fun Blogger Tricks...

2011-04-21T16:16:00.000-07:00

Today I was able to figure out a few tricks thanks to RS Designs and the tips they had there for changing the fonts of your blogger posts and template. Surprisingly simple for html...
Go on check it out - you know you want to. :)
Here is the link
Anyway I finally have a font that fits me. This is Beautiful Mess here...not strait and tidy typing lines. Now I am using the font 'Handwriting - Dakota' so if you can't see it on here you gotta download it to your computer for an authentic experience lol
Anyway thats my random moment for you today. Your welcome.

Copper - A Formal Introduction...

2011-04-20T13:15:00.000-07:00

This is Copper :) He arrived in our lives yesterday although we have been searching and waiting for him for a little while now.
It started as a conversation - Ed wanted a dog. I reminded him of Selah. He still wanted a dog - Selah even, but I needed a dog we could raise to trust. I wanted the right dog and I wanted to start off right. SO this time I read a book - "How to Raise the Perfect Dog" by Ceasar Millan. It gives a body hope.
And the search began - the right breed - the right breeder...the right puppy.

I am so glad that I found all three!! Heidi and her family were one of my favourites but they were all the way in Alberta. I thought it was worth a shot to see if they were willing to meet us in Calgary or Banff (somewhere more central) and to my surprise she said she had a friend coming out this easter weekend. Her friend ended up coming right past us and so the pick up/drop off couldn't have been more simple.

This kids are happily learning how to train Copper along with me and its going well. Eliana is very calm with the puppy and good at encouraging him. Gabe is doing his best to be a puppy and hasn't quite got the hang of Copper's name yet so for the time being he is Popper.

And Copper?? He is such a sweetie. I have been doing my best to follow the dog whisperers advice and we are just about through 24 hrs with a pup that has had no accidents yet and is getting used to his collar and leash. Last night he buried his nose in his 'momma scent' blanket and had a surprisingly mild night. He did whimper a bit that was it.
Our cat Pepper does keep looking at me like "what have you done...." but all in all we are off to a great start!

How I Plan to Win....

2011-04-12T12:42:00.000-07:00

This morning WWIII erupted in my house..of course over something small and relatively inconsequential...But this momma had enough.

It all came down to one little girl (who is completely capable of cleaning her room quickly and effectively when Daddy asks her) absolutely refusing to clean her room when her Momma asked.

A couple of hours later, after reminding and prodding and all other sorts of coercion, I laid down the ultimate ultimatum.

"Clean up this room now or I will take whatever toys are left on the floor out of here!"

To which Eliana responded, "Ok - I don't need any toys."

Shoot...now what.

I sent her to time out while I came up with a plan and this is the result.

Notice the room is clean? Yup I did that...I know I didn't 'win' this time but let me let you in on my plan....

*Step one - clean room while little girl is on a time out.

*Step two - purge all non-essential type toys (big blue bag on its way to the thrift store)

*Step three - saran wrap ALL other toys into the toy box under strict instructions that there will be all sorts of trouble for the person who dares to cross the not quite invisible barrier of cleanliness.

*Step four - New rule in home - All Eliana's toys are mine. Yup mine (I now have quite the collection of polly pockets)

*Step five - Eliana doesn't know this yet but as she completes various cleaning tasks she will be able to earn her toys back.

I'll let ya know how it goes.

I Heart Faces - Shadows

2011-04-11T08:48:00.000-07:00

I heart faces this week is Shadows and immediately I thought of this photo of my cousin. This was taken at the tea after my grandmothers funeral and we were all sitting around sharing stories and the moment. Natalie was sitting in front of the window and some of the only light in the room and so I started clickin away. I immediately liked the dramatic shadows and her expression.

Go check out more shadows over at I heart faces

Of Life and Death and the Bit in the Middle...

2011-04-06T10:03:00.000-07:00

You know that feeling right...the one right in your gut that spreads its lethargic tentacles through every vein in your body. That makes you feel small and somehow out of place.

I get this feeling when I feel deep loss...or start to recognize an impending loss. When we stand face to face with death we recognize, if even only subconsciously, that we can not control all that much when it comes to life and death. It will come for us all one day and the inevitability can make you feel incredibly powerless and small. In this place it is hard to let someone go, to release them with our hearts into a place of so much insecurity and doubt. It is from this place though I have found so much comfort and clarity and surprising peace in the moment. For I have been reminded of the hope we carry (or can carry!) because of Jesus.

¹ Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Romans 5:1

I love how the message states the same set of verses.

^1-2By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us—set us right with him, make us fit for him—we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that's not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise.

Doesn't that just breath hope and life into your heart? It sure does for me.

This past week I had to say goodbye to one of the most influential women in my life - my grandmother. When I was little she was one of my caregivers and her house was our safe haven when life was chaotic and unpredictable. She instilled in us all a deep appreciation for family and the joy it is to extend hospitality. I think she could make just about anything from scratch and I have more than one blanket in my house that she lovingly made for us. I could go on and on but maybe this might sum it up - she was one of "those ladies" - the ones that others look at and want to be like. She was such a gift in our life.
And that hope I was talking about? Is SO important, especially now. I am so thankful that I have hope that my Grandma is at peace, resting in the beauty of God's glory....probably planting a garden...lol

I Heart Faces - Favourite Face of March

2011-04-04T08:28:00.000-07:00

No time this week for any special edits but I still wanted to get in on this weeks i heart faces. Thought this little bean was just too cute.

An Adventure in Driving and Letting Go...

2011-03-16T10:47:00.000-07:00

Well first off I think I am finally happy with my new background. It drives me to distraction when I feel my blogger background doesn't 'fit' with what I am writing here. Usually I end up with some OCD type focus until I find just the right one and I think this is it! Phew.

Ok. Yes I had an Adventure. I went away for a whole weekend without my kids or husband! This was the first trip all by myself since my kids were born - so to say the least it was a weird feeling. My sisters and I headed down to Tacoma and attended a Beth Moore Conference. This was also a first for me. I so enjoyed the teaching and the time away. There were so many good things I enjoyed all weekend long. Sounds pretty benign right? I really think it should have been but I will try to express to you the level of anxiety I had the entire time!

I am not a long trip driver for starters...when on long trips my favourite thing to do is cuddle up in a blanket and zonk out for as long as possible. This time though I was THE driver and as silly as it is I was a little antsy about this. We started our trip on Thursday and didn't get into Vancouver till 9:30pm (fyi this is past a momma's optimal functioning time) It was pouring rain and dark (obviously) and the stress just got to me. We stopped for a half hour calm down session and then continued on. My youngest sister played the alphabet game with me which really helped. lol Silly Simple but focusing on something other than the crazy roads helped.
The next morning we went out for a nice breaky before heading to the states - which meant I navigated through Vancouver before heading off to tackle boarder guards, the interstate, and finally Seattle/Tacoma. Each new situation brought on a new variation of the stress that had been with me since I pulled away from my house. After getting lost several times and taking wrong turns a few more times we finally made it to the Tacoma Dome. Wow.
We got settled into our seats and Beth got up and began to share that we were going to be talking about ROAD SIGNS.
I just about fell over right there. I was supposed to be unwinding from driving not learning lessons about it.
To make a long story much shorter Beth spoke on the premise of three points - STOP YIELD GO.
For me it meant STOP - gnawing every detail of my life to death with worry and anxiousness.
YIELD-those concerns and yield myself to God's will in our life (instead of trying to control everything - which by the way we CANNOT do...another fyi)
GO - Go in Peace! I don't (and can't) control everything in my life but I can let go and yield these things to God and live in a measure of peace that is impossible when we try to do it on our own.

So to say the least this is not an instant lesson and I have had to remind myself of this frequently already but as I drove out of Seattle and off the interstate and into Vancouver and then home - I felt a sense of empowerment - I had conquered roads. BIG SCARY ROADS. (You may roll your eyes now - I know they are JUST roads lol) But for me it was an illustration of victory over anxiety and fear - one which I want to continue to play out in my life over and over so I am not living in fear but freedom.

What's in A Name...

2011-03-09T09:49:00.000-08:00

Ok...I'll spill the beans.
I wasn't gonna blog this particular story because if you have are around me at all you have probably heard it.
But for the rest of you out there that get a kick out of the bizarre situations I sometimes get myself in - This ones for you.

Ok so a couple of weeks ago I was doing some photos at a ladies event at my church. I was surprised to find out that the woman speaking, Berty N, at the event had a familiar story and name. She was a south african woman married to a doctor and her name was so familiar because I had just been referred to her husband. This in itself was kinda cool - doctors are kinda like celebrities in that it is easy to forget that they are normal people with lives outside of the hospital!
Anyway but there was something else about this woman that I was more excited by...I was pretty sure I had met her before - a couple of years earlier. I had been at a friends birthday party and been introduced to a south african woman that was married to a doctor and I had so enjoyed our visit. She was just one of those people that was easy to relate to and memorable for that very reason.
So back to the church where my powers of deduction were putting all the pieces of the puzzle together. Flash forward to the end of the night when I had the opportunity to say hello to this woman. I was nervous to introduce myself but still buzzing from the photo session I was just finishing up (Yup photography gives me more energy than a red bull!)
So here I am jittery nervous lady and I just walk right up to this woman and introduce myself thusly,
"Helloi'mKateIthinkimetyouacoupleyearsago!?ItwasonlyonceatabirthdaypartybutIjustthoughtitwasneattoseeyouagainAndguesswhatIjustfiguredoutthatIhavebeenreferredtoyourhusband...."
I kinda petered out at this point because my brain had caught up with my mouth and I realized she was standing there politely awkward - not recognizing me back and frankly looking a little skeptical at this crazy photographer who was verbally accosting her. It dawned on me that if she didn't know me she would know my friend who had invited her to the party, thus proving I was not crazy.
"Do you know Christie S?"
"No"
"Oh. Hmm. Ok"
And that was the end of the conversation.

Oh Boy. I was confused. So I called my friend Christie and asked her who in the world she had invited to her party?! Sure enough it was a south african woman married to a doctor - named Paula - Not Berty. Wow.

In retrospect I should have known better. I mean in this area if you are a south african woman chances are you ARE married to a doctor! We have quite a few within a relatively small area.
Well to say the least I am off to meet Berty's husband today (Doc appointment) but there is no way that I am going to mention that I met his wife!! lol

I Heart Faces - Favourite Face of February (FOFF)

2011-03-08T09:32:00.000-08:00

This little cutie was such a bundle of charismatic energy and had me moving the whole session (got my work out for the day!) So I was happy to find that I had captured this thoughtful look on her little face. Its all about those beautiful brown eyes! If you want to check out a few of the other shots we got click here

Just of the Kids..

2011-02-24T12:28:00.000-08:00

My kids bring me so much joy. I just want to ramble some of momma ramblings about these two little buttons.

Every night Gabe's prayer goes like this - " Thank you me nana, Thank you me papa, Thank you me mama, Thank you me daddy.....and on and on until he runs out of family and people he can remember and then we start on round two. Its so precious.

that look just means trouble lol

He is a milk thief, for real, every morning the kids go and grab their milk out of the fridge but Gabe has figured out if he wakes up early he can drink both cups and then innocently crawl back into bed! So we often wake up to Eliana's distressed cry that Gabe has stolen her milk again. I don't know where we are going with this parenting wise but Ed's solution is to hide Eliana's milk in a special place in the fridge and so far that works most the time. lol

why the comb??

He also loves being a super hero and a dinosaur so at any point in the day you can hear him roaring or see him running past you in a cape with his arms out flying. He and Eliana came up with called stuffy heros...I don't know what it really entails but I know there is a lot of running and flying and hero type work and then randomly Gabe will switch characters and become a dinosaur again and start roaring. Always makes me smile.

Eliana is at such a neat stage right now. She is so grown up that it keeps shocking me when she shows off her sense of humour or just how much she is learning and figuring out. The other day I asked her to help me find the computer mouse. She then went and very deliberately found our cats mouse toy and brought it to me cracking up the whole time. She thought she was so funny (I did too actually so we had a good laugh together)
We were driving into town the other day and Eliana saw a sign on a store and she says to me, "mom, I know how to spell store - S A F E W A Y" I was amazed because I didn't realize how good she was getting at recognizing her letters and it was frankly just pretty darn cute.

One of the funniest things the kids have done to date happened just the other morning. My kids are both VERY sensitive to sound. Like toilets flushing, hair dryers, blenders, vacuum cleaners...anything remotely loud sends them crying and or screaming to their rooms. Ed (ingenious dad that he is) has two sets of construction ear 'muffs' (I know they are probably called something else more manly...lol)
Anyway if I am vacuuming or using the blender or anything like that the kids will run and put on their ear muffs.

pepper looks a little less
than thrilled lol

So now that you have this important backstory, you will understand why I was quite startled and confused when the other morning I was standing in the kitchen and all of a sudden our radio was BLARING. Like shake the shingles blaring. I couldn't even try to call into them to turn it down. I marched into the living room ready to set the world strait and ended up laughing and running for our video camera.
For there in the living room were both kids absolutely buck naked running around dancing to the music for all they were worth both wearing their ear muffs. Nothing but their ear muffs.
Such a great moment.

In the day to day it is sometime so easy to forget what little treasures you have running around the house. Laundry and dishes can suck the life right out of a body - but I am so glad that I get to be here and watch my kids grow and change and just be kids. They breath life right back in that hole the laundry left...lol

Hope Springs....

2011-02-16T17:26:00.000-08:00

It never ceases to amaze me the power of time away. I am not even talking about an amazing two week vacation at a tropical location - all four of us actually went just a couple of hours away to have a sleep over with some friends.

How sweet it is to be out of your own home and environment, that at least for me is a constant reminder of every responsibility I have in my life, and rest in the company of friends. We have such great friends who are masters at hospitality and I am SO grateful to have them in our lives.

This short little spurt was especially meaningful to me right now. It was the breath of fresh air I needed. I was out of the snow and into that land of spring. It made me giddy to put my kids into running shoes and not worry about 15 layers of clothing. On a more substantial level I think just being away gave my mind some space to process some of what I have been learning and walking through as a family lately.

The word of God has been such a comfort to me lately...its as if the words are meant just for me - just at this time. How cool is Jesus.

As a new years challenge we have been memorizing a new verse every couple of weeks. I chose the following passage more arbitrarily than not - only to be astounded over and over again as it has proven absolute applicable in almost every area of our life since the year began.

Proverbs 3:5-12

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

and do not rely on your own insight.

In all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make straight your paths.

Be not wise in your own eyes;

fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.

It will be healing to your flesh,

and refreshment to your bones.

Honor the Lord with your substance

and the first fruits of all your produce;

they your barns will be filled with plenty,

and your vats will be bursting with wine.

My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline

or be weary of his reproof,

for the Lord reproves him whom he loves,

as a father the son in whom he delights."

I Heart Red

2011-02-15T19:04:00.000-08:00

What Can I Say

2011-02-04T11:48:00.000-08:00

I have to say that this year so far has been weird. Every time I have sat down and thought, 'hey i should blog'...I have been at a loss. Its not because I haven't had anything going on but quite the opposite.
I posted the above you tube clip 1 - because it is VERY funny and 2 - because I totally get this whole 'crisis of confidence' phrase right now!

Our family is in a weird season of what feels like transition and change. I feel as though there are seismic waves, of varying intensity, sweeping through our life and challenging the way we view stability. "Oh you thought that was a given?? A sure thing?? Lets just shake that up a bit!!"
And that sure leaves me feeling insecure and given to a certain amount of anxiety. When shaken down to its root it always seems to come back to two foundational questions for me. "Is God big enough to deal with this" and the even more importantly "Is He Good." They are such hard questions to grapple with and you know a couple of months ago I would have had very little trouble answering YES! to both.
Right now, it is only by faith that I can even squeak out a small little yes . I know what I believe but sometimes that 'crisis of confidence' is absolutely immobilizing.
I hug my chest and cry to the Father to help me see and to walk through this season with some measure peace even though I am blind to His hand moving and guiding us.

So pardon my 'tongue tied' blog as we navigate these unknown waters before us. I am so grateful for all of you who share in our life and our journey - day to day and 'virtual' friends alike :)

Ice Fishing....Really??

2011-01-26T11:11:00.000-08:00

Really?? That was my whiny response to Ed's request that we all head out ice fishing Sunday after church.

Fishing I get...lay in a boat in the warm sunshine with the a great excuse that nothing else got done in the day...

Ice Fishing is a whole other matter...sit out in the freezing cold with nothing to do but think that you are freezing cold - on top of 10 inches of ice which is also freezing cold waiting for some fish to bite some rotten piece of shrimp (which got thus by sitting on your kitchen counter for 2 days) just in the hope that something will occupy you mind other than the fact that you are freezing cold.

Although, as you may have guessed I gave in; my husband LOVES ice fishing...even though I can't understand why and I knew it meant a lot to him AND I figured it would be some good family memories and time spent together.

On that point I was right. The kids were super cute with their little fishing rods that they diligently held for all of 5 minutes and the rest of the time they had a blast playing in the snow and scooping ice from the fishing holes.
It was a beautiful afternoon and I had fun playing around with my camera despite the cold.

Pardon the poor quality here but it was just a cute moment and I didn't want to miss it by fiddling with settings...Gabe was SOOOO tired after being out eliana was able to cuddle the sleeping Gabe on her lap and give him kisses without him ever knowing...he was so out!!

i heart Faces - Winter Wonderland

2011-01-17T15:46:00.000-08:00

As soon I took this photo of this little guy I knew it was one of my favourites of the whole session. He was just pumped to be outdoors and eating snow off his mittens!!

Pop on over to i heart faces to check out all the great winter wonderland pics.

i Heart Faces - Smiles

2011-01-11T10:01:00.000-08:00

This couple immediately came to mind when the theme of 'smiles' came up for the i heart faces challenge this week. These two had me smiling and laughing all day long and the smiles they had for each other were just breath taking. So in love and absolutely thrilled to married!!

Walking into the New Year...

2011-01-05T18:17:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderful Christmas season that just now is drawing to a close.
My one sister left yesterday and of course school starting stole my other one. My brother leaves friday and then I am afraid I am going to feel quite alone in our little house!!

As always we were busy busy busy but it was the good fun kind of busy. Christmas is really my favourite....

But as I look towards this New Year our family is facing a year of change and some very big question marks....
Its not a year that I can plan for or anticipate (although when do things go the way we think they will anyway)
And so I find my self a little tentative this season...trying Not to hold my breath...trying to remember who God is in our lives and who I am in Him.

Delivery!! Christmas Card for you :)

2010-12-20T12:04:00.000-08:00

I usually am so on top of the Christmas Card game but this year it was a no go.

Well at least for a card that you'd receive all bright and cheery in your mail box.

BUT...

I really didn't want you to think that I have forgotten...or even failed to try - it came more down to the technical difficulties of trying to take our own family picture and then finding a photo that everyone was happy with. (Some sympathizers out there??)

Anyway to make our long christmas photo story short - I just collected a couple photos from some of my favourite trips this year and made you a digital card.

Please feel loved and appreciated :)

Thought I'd add my parents card too! lol at least its a better photo of my family!!

A Christmas Lighting Rant...

2010-12-07T10:57:00.000-08:00

Ok I know, this may be an odd thing to rant about. Rant might not even be the right word...I am not angry or frustrated but I am a little saddened..

WHY??

Well I just can't stand the LED christmas lights that are ever where. Don't get me wrong - I love the power savings and world cataclysm avoidance they represent...I just cannot get over how anemic and understated they are.

Like really understated...the other day I drove past a place that used the blue and purple LED and I would almost venture to say they produce anti-light. The dark vibrant colour emits so little light they are hard to focus on but because its not normal to the landscape your eye is almost inexplicably drawn back to it. It really is like some sort of Christmas Light Black Hole of Anti Light.....You get sucked in wether you want to or not.
This does not bring me Christmas joy and make me want to celebrate....It makes me want to rub my eyes and go unplug the darn things.

Remember when Christmas lights not only illuminated the snow along the eves but the entire face of a house! How cheery and warm and welcoming was that! These poor little LED's if they get a true Canadian size dump of snow on them become faint orbs of colour again creating the CLBH of AL. I just find it a little disheartening. I love colour - I love light.....Christmas lights are supposed to bring those two things together, without giving me a headache.

Although I have to admit two things....I see hope for the LED's because someone has taught the manufacturers about the concept of colour temperature and they are now offering 'white' or clear lights that are not blue in tone but rather a nice warm cream....A big step in the right direction if you ask me.

And the second I have to admit rather abashedly - We have anemic Christmas Lights creating Black Holes of Anti Light on our house right now.

My Day in Terms of Food....

2010-12-01T18:51:00.000-08:00

yup...the title was correct...I am talking about my day in terms of food....It really was a good day but...well, you'll see...

Breakfast:
So this morning for breakfast I had cornflakes...this particular variety of corn flakes was eaten from a bowl that walked around the house with me and despite my best efforts became so soggy that I doubt the term 'flake' could be applied anymore.

Snack:
Umm even though I forgot this particularly important event - my children didn't but since we were in the car driving to Vernon I just got to hear the pitiful yowls of children who surely must have been starving.

Lunch:
Thank Goodness for Tim Hortons. I went and picked up a turkey bacon club EXTRA Long sandwich and a 10 pack of tim bits. We then went and met up with Ed for lunch. Half a sandwich for Ed and a quarter to each child. I have never professed to be great at numbers...this sandwich scenario being case in point. So I settled on eating half a box of tim bits.

Snack:
May I point out that snack in my kids mind is 10 min after lunch. (!?!) Luckily we were on our way to the mall so we landed at the food court. My oversight at lunch had been noticed and duly beaten to death. The kids were thirsty and frankly so was I ( tim bits and the lb of sugar they represent will do that to you!) We grabbed some juice and headed out to enjoy the mall. Only the enjoyment lasted about 10 steps as Eliana dropped her juice and my own juice was was the sacrificial price demanded for a quick return to peace.

.....4pm: Tic tacs and an ice tea are pacifying the troops

.....5pm: The troops revolt and there are many tears over broken dreams of having milk the moment they want it.

.....5:45pm: I walked through the door, crying kids in tow and made a b-line strait to the fridge where I pounced upon the mcain frozen cake thing in the freezer and ate about 3 pieces (thats the polite way to say I cut a whole row) and shoved it in my mouth. The kids watching this feeding frenzy swarmed around to get their piece of the pie - I mean cake.

....6:00pm: Supper was cooking (macaroni and hamburger) and I literally set off every smoke detector in the house. leaving the element on Hi really isn't a time saving tactic. Once enough pillow waving and fans on released our ear drums from the scream of a false alarm I finished super. And the kids ate...and I oh crap got distracted and started blogging.

So yes, I am going to go eat now.

Kids Christmas Lists...

2010-11-28T09:04:00.000-08:00

On Thursday I was busy taking pictures of a whole bunch of kids with the man of the season - Santa. Pop on over to my Twisted Lily blog to get the low down on the event.
Anyway I have to say that most of the evening I had a permanent smile etched on my face and it wasn't JUST because the kids were too cute for words.

It was the words that were coming out of their mouths in response to one question in particular, "What do you want for Christmas?"

Here are a couple of my favourite responses:

"I want kung foo lessons and a ticket to china" - oh and I asked his mother and YES he watched karate kid.

Little brother - " I want this truck with doors that open".....2 min later after describing every little detail it was Big Brothers turn - " umm I think I just want a fire extinguisher and maybe a couple of fire hoses"
Dad must be a firefighter!!

Eliana gets hung up on musical instruments at christmas time....last year she asked for a drum and this year so far it has been a piano and a flute....can you see me rolling my eyes!!!
I just got rid of the drum from last christmas and the recorder that Ed got me for mothers day (yup sometimes I think he is trying to drive me off the deep end)
I think Santa will be fresh out of flutes this year.....and pianos will be in miniature plastic form...lol

I heart Faces - Silhouettes

2010-11-16T14:02:00.000-08:00

So all week long I was waiting for the sun....rise or set I wasn't picky I wanted to get that beautiful colourful shot and practice my silhouettes! Needless to say the sun didn't come out which inspired this silhouette that is directly inspired from Cat in the Hat...

"The sun did not shine

It was too wet to play

So we stayed in the house

All that cold, cold wet day."

My Days....

2010-11-14T19:22:00.000-08:00

These days just don't seem long enough! I have found myself delightfully busy with photography work and the daily rig-a-ma-roll of being a parent.
I wish for more time to sort things out in my head and to organize it all but I think that is a matter of me cracking down on my random nature and learning some better time management skills.

I don't know if I say this enough but my kids are awesome. My husband is awesome. My family is such a blessing in my life.

I am loving my work...I love that it is always something new...I love that I get to learn a new trick or angle or whatever pretty much every time I pick up my camera. There is something so wonderfully satisfying about capturing beautiful people and beautiful places.

I will be hopefully posting a lot on my Twisted Lily Photography site this week...there is a lot in the works and to share so be sure to check in!

Speaking of sharing these are a couple of the little guys that I took pictures of last week at their Jui Jitsu club. To check out a few more of these cute pics click here

Sitting At The Dinner Table....

2010-11-11T21:35:00.000-08:00

So sitting at my parents dinner table the other night Eliana was asked what she wanted to be when she grew up
" I want to be a mommy" was her matter of fact reply.
My sister then asked her, "what do mommys do?" (May I interject here....what sort of question is that!!!??)
And Elianas response was once again strait to the point "they cut"
?????
We were confused as to what she meant but after some more questioning it became clear that she was talking about making supper....ie 'cutting up food'
Then my smarty pants of a sister once again probed eliana, "what do daddy's do then eliana?"

I love my daughter and her response reminded of me of one of the reasons why....

When she said "daddys watch."

I heart Faces - Orange Challenge

2010-11-09T09:40:00.000-08:00

I haven't had an entry in a while - life just gets a little too crazy sometimes :)

So here is my orange picture...these are my kids and one of there best little friends on a walk. This little friend just moved provinces away so it was an extra special time and I mostly just loved the mood that this pic expressed.

hope you like it too

Our Halloween Tale...

2010-11-03T11:20:00.000-07:00

Our Halloween was spread out over a couple of days so that we could enjoy our traditional bonfire/wiener roast out at the farm and then go trick or treating with the kids in town halloween night.

It worked out quite well. Some how we didn't get any pictures of the bonfire but heres a few pics of pumpkins and our family costume..

Oh ya - we dressed up as a family this year and it was a blast. I think the kids were more excited to see us dress up than they were! lol
We did an inspector gadget theme. Ed was inspector gadget (we even had an umbrella to come out of his hat but then the kids broke the umbrella)
Eliana was Penny - she was really excited to dress up as penny but as you will see - she just looked like a little girl which I think confused people...lol
Gabriel was Brain (penny's dog) He was happy to be a dog but once again I think people were confused because of the hat we used to put his ears on made him look more like aviator dog - aka Snoopy
I was a MAD agent. I was pretty pumped about my MAD logo on my shirt. I was the only one that actually scared people....lol
We showed up at my aunts house and my cousin Morgan was home alone. When she saw me get out of the car - and she didn't recognize me - she locked the door.
Then she heard me talking to the kids and came out....pretty funny though.
So we were pretty happy with our family theme but I don't think it clicked for anyone seeing us on the street who we were trying to be. Next year we will have to try for something a little more current :)

ignore the watermark!!! oops

Random Car Conversations

2010-10-26T09:08:00.000-07:00

Usually these conversations happen when I don't have our video camera around but Ed and Eliana were in a silly mood this trip home and I got to capture a bit of it. I know it is a little long but some of Eds comments just got me giggling...

My Recipe for Mister Linky

2010-10-20T18:50:00.000-07:00

Popeye Pasta

This is a super easy, super yummy pasta. My kids even eat it - they are suckers for feta cheese so that helps! From start to finish this recipe will take you as long as it takes noodles to cook!!

OK - Ingredients: olive oil, garlic, 2 lg tomatoes, 1 bunch spinach, balsamic vinegar, feta cheese and any type of noodle

Olive oil, garlic crushed and minced, tomatoes roughly chopped.....med heat

Once tomatoes start to soften just a bit add the roughly chopped spinach

And a few tablespoons of balsamic vinegar - Note that noodles are cooking in the background!!

Cook just until spinach wilts - take off of heat

Spoon over pasta and add feta on top and some pepper to taste....YUMMY!!

Ok its time to share....

2010-10-20T09:34:00.000-07:00

Yup thats right - its time to share your favourite on the go recipe. Here's why...I have run out of ideas and instead of scouring the web for recipes I thought why not ask all of you.

So I know for myself - I am short on easy, healthy supper ideas for those nights when my creativity and energy only gets me to the Kraft Dinner and hot dogs category.

I also figured that I must not be the only mom (or dad!) that runs into this dilemma so if we each share one favourite recipe hopefully we will end up with a nice little stack of ideas :)

SO here's how to get involved.....Mr Linky is a cool little widget that is gonna help us out.

FIRST: Write a blog that includes the recipe you would like to share
SECOND:View your blog and copy the address that is up in the address bar (make sure it is the address to that specific blog post)
THIRD:Copy the post address and paste it here into the mr linky box along with your name and they everyone can easily check out each others recipes!

I Look forward to seeing lots of yummy recipes :)

Taking Time to Count...

2010-10-19T08:55:00.000-07:00

So here are a few numbers for you

My house is approximately 1100 sq feet...which suits us just fine.
We have 3 bed rooms, a sunroom, a living room and a kitchen...again just hunky dory.
Yesterday morning I made about 10 dozen cookies (by accident - I doubled one ingredient and had to catch up with the rest)
And yesterday our mom bookclub group met at my place....
I did some counting yesterday and realized there were 9 moms that came - which is a great sized group...
And 18 children (all 5 and under)
LOL
We tried to send them to play in the bedrooms and some of them did - but I don't blame the ones who spilled out I am sure they would have been trampled.
We moms tried to squish in the sun room so that the kids would not have to run through the middle of our discussion but I think my love seat would have had to squish about 5 people on it so that idea went out the window.
So there we were 9 moms in the middle of kid hurricane valiantly try to talk over all the noise and screaming...we eventually gave up and settled with visiting in little clusters because you seriously could not hear across my little living room.
Now remember earlier I said I had been baking cookies right? So add to this whole scenario that the house temperature was roughly what is needed to cook a turkey and I think you'll have the jist of our morning book group yesterday.

I love that the ladies in this group are so relaxed that they didn't even bat an eye at the craziness of our situation but made the best of it - ate cookies - and some yummy dessert some other moms brought - and somehow made walking through a hurricane look easy.

MMMM Thanksgiving.....turkey how do I love you - let me count the ways

2010-10-14T12:52:00.000-07:00

That may be my longest title yet - but can you blame me? Turkey really is oh so good - I get to this time of year and find myself wondering why we only do it twice.

Anyway off of the turkey brain....
We also had an awesome weekend of spending time with my family....and of course because everyone was home at the same time (FINALLY)

It became a major photo op.

A Surprise 75th Bday for my Gram brought out my dads two sisters

My Grams was tickled pink by the surprise

Mom and Dad helped me play around with the setting on my camera

Timer + Two Kids + Mommy and Two kids running back and forth to reset camera = fun family photos

I got my exercise this day - once again playing the start the timer and run game "The Girls"

"The Boys"....thankfully I did not slip off my precarious perch on the tractor hood

Uncle Jimmy with Gabe

It really was a great weekend - besides my Grandma's 75th birthday we also celebrated my Dad's 50th on Sunday and of course Thanksgiving on monday.

Yup I think it is safe to say I have started gaining my winter insulation.

Gabe's Revelation...

2010-10-07T09:54:00.000-07:00

So I just had to share this cute little conversation I had with Gabe the other night...

Gabe was talking with Eliana and I tuned in just as I heard

Eliana: "I am a girl Gabe"

Gabe: " I girl too"

Eliana: "NO your NOT Gabe - your a boy - I a girl"

Gabe: "NO" (starts crying)

So I grabbed him and put him on my lap.

Me: "Yes you are a boy Gabe...thats good you are boy, that is the way that Jesus made you"

Gabe: "Oh" (a few sniffles as he stopped crying - then he looked at me meaningfully) "Jesus make you a big huge one mommy?"

"Yup Jesus made me a big huge one"'

So Alive and Half Dead...

2010-10-05T15:57:00.000-07:00

I know that my title is quite the paradox but it sums up so much of my life right now that I had to go with it.

Last night was my first night in just over 6 weeks that I have gone to Brazilian Jui Jitsu.

I have realized that for me - Jui Jitsu represents and greatly contributes to my health and by no means is my physical health the greatest beneficiary. Mentally, emotionally I feel SOO much better after class - I feel de-stressed, revitalized and ready to face life again.
**BLISS**

Of course my definition of bliss in this case is getting rolled around for an hour and a half - but it just felt so good to be in class again.
Until this morning - "Hello achy sore muscles - I missed you???"
So alive - half dead.

I also have been busy preparing for a wedding trade show in a few weeks, as well as trying to meet the deadlines of the various photography projects I have on the go. It is awesome being busy, it is awesome having new opportunities to grow not only my business but also myself. It is challenging and exciting and I am grateful and eager to continue to learn, not only more in the field of photography but also in business. BUT of course there is a flip side to all of this (just because I am as human as they come) I am finding myself with elevated stress levels and more things on my 'to do' list than may be possible....So alive - half dead

I am working back in the school district again - thanks to Sarah who has taken on the somewhat chaotic schedule of casual child care. I don't know if working in the district really infuses me with life filling passion (although I do enjoy it) But it does add some pennies into our account so I guess with this one I will rate it a '3/4 alive - half dead"
Half dead because who in their right mind wants to work casual on call!!

Another Date Night Hijacked

2010-10-04T11:03:00.000-07:00

I was happily surprised when early last week Ed suggested a date night friday for us. Our kids have had the foot and mouth virus and so I have been stuck at home more than I am used to and I was so looking forward to it!
Ed planned for us to go out and watch a movie while my sister stayed and watched the kids.
Sounds awesome right!
Come Friday afternoon though things started to unravel. Gabe who even while being covered in a blistery rash around his face, feet and hands had been quite content to play happily began to fuss.
Then fussing turned to screaming...that horrible cry that lets you know they are not just whining - they are in pain.
We turned to tylenol....which really did nothing.
By midnight I was concerned enough that we took him into the ER...and at two in the morning just 5 minutes before the doctor came in...Gabe had one of those crazy poops.

And once he was cleaned up - he settled down. He let me hold him, instead of pacing the room saying oww oww.

The doc confirmed that he was ok aside from the foot and mouth virus...the pain that I had thought was from blisters was actually a tummy ache.
It reminds me of that quote,
"when you hear hoof beats you think horses - not zebras"

Oh brother. Anyway so our date night was not realized this week but we decided instead to go on a family date on Sunday to go check out the salmon run happening at a local river. Very cool

I will post those pics as soon as I can :)

Well I had fun....

2010-09-28T12:15:00.000-07:00

Well this past weekend found us road tripping our way down to the coast. Ed was a part of a wedding in seattle so we left Thursday night with the hopes that we would have a nice relaxing weekend. HA!

We were about half way there (2.5 hrs into the trip) when Ed realized that he had forgot his entire bag - and his passport. Back home we went. We left Friday morning at 4am got there in record time. (yay no traffic)

Ed dropped the kids and me off with the Conrads and he continued on to Seattle. Such a fun relaxing weekend. Good friends and good food and fun chic flicks and happy kids!! Ed had a bit of a different weekend of busy, stress and little sleep but hey I had fun!! lol

Here are a few snap shots of our time at the apple orchard

Leanne and Marti - I missed so many good shots of Leanne and the kids I just couldn't keep up!!

Mrs Marie and Eliana

Mrs Marie and Marti

I get nauseous jumping on trampolines and Gabe wasn't really into it either so we both got cuddles.

Gabe and Marti were racing to get around the corner first...apparently Gabe took this quite seriously

Marti decided that this bale was too high

Putting Auntie Jackie on the Spot

Mrs Marie helpin out Gabe

This Goat litterally walked right into the end of my lens - to get the pic i had to hold him back

We went on a hay ride around the farm - Marti settled in right away

Gabe settled in RIGHT next to here

Gabe found Mater

Hands down my favourite shot of the day - although this one was pretty easy to take because I had time to adjust my settings - I think when I am out with the kids I should just leave my camera on automatic

The unveiling of the Gourmet Hotdog!!!

2010-09-21T18:23:00.000-07:00

Ed and I have been talking about checking out this new restaurant in town for a while...its called 'thirty two 0 eight' and it is specializes in...you guessed it gourmet hotdogs.

I know - it really is weird. And Good. Really good.

I like a good dog as it is but these thing are the cats meow.

I had one called 'the Med' it had roasted red pepper hummus, artichoke hearts, tangy olives, herbed feta cheese and fresh parsley.

Ed had the 'Viva Italia!!" - Garlic butter garden fresh bruschetta, sharp asiago cheese and sweet basil.

YUM

There were about 15 different ones to choose from...from traditional to ones like we had to ones that make you shake your head.

One of the ones that caught my eye was the 'beaner wiener' in the kids section....a hotdog loaded with mac and cheese and topped with ketchup....I think I might try that one at home :)

Too "Tenderflaky"

2010-09-16T08:35:00.000-07:00

Those were his exact words...."Its just too tenderflakey"

"He" was Ed and the thing that was too flaky was the pie crust on the apple pie I made last night. I am sure he wouldn't have said anything but I got suspicious after 3 or more pieces didn't disappear overnight. I was so proud of this beautiful pie...the crust in my mind is perfect...light, flaky, golden brown.

I just totally forgot my husbands issues with anything made with flour. lol
I have yet to find a truly discernible pattern to what he likes and dislikes. For instance the pie crust soaked in melted ice cream made it "soggy" and he like that much better. What baker tries for a 'soggy' crust!!

Anyway I will now add perfect pie crust to my list of Ed's dislikes to join other offenders such as pancakes, waffles, bread (unless its April's homemade), double chocolate chip cookies (yup I'm serious) and most cakes (unless it is anglefood)

He truly is a mystery, although I suppose thats half the fun!

Ok...I admit....I really do miss it

2010-09-15T12:44:00.000-07:00

So the story is this...Mid August I came down with a wicked bad cold that knocked my socks off for about 3 weeks. 2 weeks in I was feeling overwhelmed and burnt out (from our summer pace I think) and decided to take the following month (September) off of Brazillian Jui Jitsu. Schedule wise, yes it has helped alleviate stress and slow down our running around...BUT I am unraveling. Oh that so sucks to say. Its a matter of no space or time where I do something in my day that makes me feel good about myself. That energizes me and can in an hour turn my day around. Its not the magic cure for all of lifes 'lifeness'...but it helps me stay balanced and a little further away from the inner "B" that escapes when I spend too many days running around trying to meet everyone else's needs without taking time for myself. I hate being that person.

So ya I am looking forward to October (although kinda dreading how bad warm ups are gonna feel) and I guess I might as well take advantage of the rest of September and finish playing catch up.

I Heart Faces - Vroom Vroom Challenge

2010-09-13T22:10:00.000-07:00

This was such a fun wedding to shoot - and one of the neatest props that we had was this old truck. The groomsmen all drove in on it and we did a whole bunch of group poses but when we were down to just the newlyweds...it was just so sweet.
So heres my salute to vroom vroom!

For some strange reason I can't paste the button/link into my post but if you want to check out some great photos pop on over to
www.iheartfaces.com

Some More Photos

2010-09-07T10:33:00.000-07:00

So I just posted a whole bunch of photos over at my twisted lily blog of my continued adventures with kids and

photo taking. Feel free to check them out here

Testing testing...

2010-08-31T20:18:00.001-07:00

Bla bla bla I hate html

Just thinking out loud...

2010-08-27T23:34:00.000-07:00

So I have to say with all this summer busy my house has gotten the short end of the stick. No really this is so beyond mom small talk that it has been stressing me out. It's like loosing a race with a wreaking ball that is rolling down a hill - things only go from bad to worse. Every morning I have been waking up to find the time and motivation to get everything caught up and you know what- those days have come but it's not catching up any more - it's just staying afloat. Take this week for instance, every morning I have chipped away at something but every afternoon I have looked around the house and it looks like a family of barbarians live here. Don't I teach basic hygeine and manners around here?
Sometimes it just all gets to be too much, I feel overwhelmed and failure. Stupid laundry that makes me doubt my own value and worth. Stupid dishes that makes me question if my husband even loves me. Stupid messy bathrooms that make me question if I am a good mother.
Stupid house - no wonder I love any excuse to leave all the confines of it's self demoralizing grip.
Do you feel me?
And then tonight - a God moment - it can only be described as such because it was the perfect revelation, the peace offering, the perspective that couldn't be gained on my own. The above rant has been my perspective. Tonight as I looked around just before I went to kiss my kids goodnight and my eyes rested on the pile of laundry on couch, my feet crunched through the crumbs and who knows what on the carpet, i passed the bathroom with running tap and floor covered in water and I remembered. I remembered that I am so blessed to be living in the middle of this beautiful mess.
Obviously I have had this moment before because that's why I named my blog the way I did. It was supposed to remind me but I am so easily distracted. You know your life is the wrong kind of busy when you can't see the beauty for the mess.
Beauty is SO powerful. I sometimes mistake a clean house for beauty - yes it's pretty and nice (and yes I still want it!) but for the pretty of my house - I miss the beauty of my children - of my husband (sorry Ed that doesn't sound manly but my readers get it don't worry)- the beauty of my life. My beautiful chaotic messy life.
Thank you Jesus for every second of it.

Overstimulated overflow

2010-08-24T21:36:00.000-07:00

Ok here's the deal. Soooo much has been going on around here I have found myself completely overwhelmed. I know I am busy when I am not on my computer at least every second day.
And yes I have been busy and yes I intend to fill ya all in but its gonna take just a bit more time....

So this is what I got.

A new profile picture for my blog. Yes it once again is me buried beneath my daughter but if you really look I think you can see 99% of my face which - lets face it (no pun intended) - is a miracle.

I set out the other day to play around with some studio lights a friend of mine lent me (Thanks Ang!!) and when it was all said and done I actually got some decent pics of my kids and was pretty excited about the whole thing. Flying on my photo high I thought - what the heck, why not have a shower and try to get a semi decent photo of myself?!?
LOL
An hour later
And about 50 000 shots that had only one eye or half a face...
The kids decided they wanted to join mommy in this silly game of run back and forth between the camera.
BEEP BEEP BEEP Flash!!!!!
Everytime I sat down one of the kids would lunge into my lap.
So here it is.
My best attempt at a self portrait and it probably captures more of who I am and what my life looks like than if I had captured some thoughtful dramatic pose.

What a Weekend!!

2010-08-18T08:55:00.000-07:00

So this past weekend was an absolute blast. We headed out on a short roadtrip to take in the airshow and get some visiting in with friends!! I am having a hard time thinking in words right now so here is what our weekend looked like.

It was SUPER hot - like almost 40 C on the tarmac - Whew!

We stuck the kids under little umbrellas gave them LOTS of water and they coped better than I did I think

Gabe was soooo taken with watching the planes that he would just stand there staring at the sky waiting. Such a cutie. Eliana on the other had was just bummed out that she was not aloud a jet ride - yes literally she wanted to fly!!

This plane is the Avro Lancaster (the big one with the 4 props). It sure meant a lot to us to see it this year. It is one of only two Lancasters still flying. Earlier in the year Papa Stein had planned on joining us to this air show but he passed away since then so everything took on a different importance. The lancaster was one of Papa Steins favourite planes and we know he would have loved seeing it.

On a totally separate note...this was the first weekend we had our new car!! And it is official - I love it.

Really fun little ride and although I missed the extra space the van offered (there were 5 of us in a 5 seater!! My little sis came along) it is so fun to drive and so cheap too! We spent less than half of what we did on gas last year for the same trip. WOW!

I sure love my family - We stopped to pull out some snacks and Ed and Gabe went exploring. Ed found this cool little raveen that we all hiked down into (which was tricky as it was really steep with no path and i was in flip flops!) Meighan snapped a few photos of us as a family and she even got a few where we were all looking at the camera!

One of the best parts of the whole trip was hanging out with friends. Eliana and Gabe had so much fun playing with Sam and Martina they are still talking about it. We ate good food and chatted about everything from soup to nuts and it just made you feel like it should be like this everyday.

I Hope this has Happened to Someone Else

2010-08-06T19:56:00.000-07:00

OK I seriously do hope someone out there can relate to this somewhat embarrassing/funny moment I had today.

I was in the mall with my kids and I was so preoccupied scooping up some AMAZING deals on summer clothes for next year (From $30 down to $2 anyone!!!) that I had tuned out the endless chatter from my 4yr old daughter.

Although when her voice not so pleasantly interrupted my buying bliss - I assumed that she was once again complaining (You know the tone of voice that overrides any language) So I loudly and in my firm mom voice said
"Stop your whining!!"

Only to be shocked out of my shopping coma to hear a mom standing just next to me say..."Oh that was mine not yours" as she hurried her daughter away from the crazy lady - me.

oops.

Out with the Old and in With the New!!

2010-08-06T09:27:00.000-07:00

Last couple of weeks have been super busy project land around here. We finally bit the bullet and re-did our roof. So now I can say that I know how to shingle a roof but I really don't want to do it again.

I can't complain though - Ed is the one that really put in the hours along with my brother. They would come home from work and shingle until 9 pm and wake up and do it all over again. It took a week and we even had a whole crew of volunteers on the long weekend. So a big thankyou to my Dad and Mom, Megs, Greg, Stacey and Mauricio and of course James and Ed!!

Tada!!!

Morning Inspiration...

2010-07-29T08:40:00.000-07:00

This past week I pulled a bit of a switch in my schedule and instead of staying up late and dragging my butt around in the morning, I have been getting to sleep at a decent time which amazingly enough means that I actually wake up before my kids and I even wake up feeling great!

So yesterday morning I was out side at 7am watering my plants when I saw the sun come over the ridge and highlight this big ol dandelion. I was captivated. I ran and grabbed my camera and started to play around with this cool image.

Anyway I was pretty happy with the results - I am thinking of printing a couple of them to hang in my newly reno'd sunroom (which I will post about really soon!!!)

A Random Moment - Playing with Lightroom

2010-07-19T14:07:00.000-07:00

   So all too often I know that choices I make come down to dollars and cents.

   Over the past six months though I have been very lucky to have access to free trials and beta softwear. I started out with Lightroom and really liked it but all too soon the beta closed down because they released Lightroom 3 (The beta is a freeware working copy of the program so they can get feedback and make changes before releasing it)

   Still nickle and diming my way along I found that I could sign up for a free trial of photoshop CS5 itself....(Angels singing). Wow. Thats all I have to say - what an awesome program. Until the trial runs out and you go to see how much it costs and wake up to find that you passed out on the floor from the pure shock of it all. Photoshop CS5 - $1200. Ouch that doesn't really fit into my financial planning right now.

   So I was feeling a little lost - no beta - no photoshop trial...and after tasting such creative freedom I questioned if I could chain myself to the cumbersome GIMP again. Then a small window of hope....another trial for the now completed Lightroom 3 - and so for the next 30 days I am happy. I honestly don't want to think beyond that...
Although at around $400 Lightroom leaves a little more air in your lungs.

And I was really happy to find that some of the bigger issues I had with lightroom have been resolved. Here's a before and after I was playing around with today...its a crappy picture I quickly snapped while setting things up for my brothers passport photos. It was kind of a worse case senario test. The before of Gabe not only has exposure issues but it is quite grainy (especially when zoomed) Not to mention all the dried grossness all over his face. This edit was done in about 5 min...simple, practical and quite effective for all the basics. I cringe at the day when I will have to dish out for softwear but for now at least I have Lightroom!

   Before After

A Birthday Party and a Fire....

2010-07-13T22:54:00.000-07:00

Saturday was Eliana's 4th Birthday Party and we celebrated at a local pool. Eliana let me know about every 5 minutes that this was her favourite birthday ever - which was so cute to hear.

It really was a great day and it is just amazing to think that my little button is 4 already. She is a precious, vivacious little thing and I thank God every day that she is our daughter.

Soooooo we went from a perfect day Saturday to a perfectly bizarrely random day on Sunday.

Ed went to go run some errands with Eliana Sunday afternoon and I was going to stay home with Gabe who was napping (and was sick with a fever) when Ed called back home almost immediately after he left telling me to look out our window. To my surprise the mill yard across the road was on fire

Not wanting to sit around we packed up Gabe (and our cat just in case the fire decided to hop the road) and headed out to my parents farm for the afternoon. It wasn't until supper time that we got word that our neighbourhood was evacuated due to the fire so we spent the night at the farm. It was quite the little spontaneous adventure but we were up for it and had a fun little 'camp-out' on the living room floor. While I can quite confidently say 99.9% of the population was praying that our homes would be safe...Ed was busy praying that our place would burn down. LOL.

His reasoning?? He figured it would be easier than fixing it up and selling it! Ahhh I love my husband.

Well luckily the majority won out on that one and the next day we were all aloud back in our homes - which yes, were all still there.

Yay for a weekend full of family, friends and adventure.

My House is Shaking...

2010-06-28T12:01:00.000-07:00

Literally.

I keep thinking that I must have a huge and massively uneven load of laundry in that is causing all the awful noise and tremors that have been shaking my house all day long.

Well ok its only 11 am but seriously it gets old fast.

So what is causing this terrestrial unrest in my home??
Bulldozers - Land Movers - and other such unholy massive equipment.
You see they are building a new road which goes right by our house...which in the end, I keep trying to remind myself, will be worth it.

As it is right now turning onto our frontage road has caused enough adrenaline pumping moments to last me a lifetime and don't even get me started on trying to get out of here onto that godforsaken highway....I have spent more time sitting there than I care to think about...inducing more than one grey hair I am sure. (ugg and who needs that!?!)

Ok - I feel better getting that off my chest.
Stupid Road + Stupid Machines = Present Annoyance - Future Gain

Just a Great Day

2010-06-18T15:06:00.000-07:00

So the other day I felt inspired (mostly because I looked at the photos hanging on my wall) to get the kids all done up and take them out for a photo shoot. In the past these outings have been disasters. I have a plan - and nothing goes according to it - and I end up a stressed out grumpy mess. So this time I thought I would try something different...I made the loosest plan possible.
It looked something like this: Get the kids clean (if they stay that way great), head out to a local orchard (if weather or location fall through oh well), and follow the kids around and try to get some decent photos (a kid directed day - how bad could it be!?)

And you know what?! It actually worked.
I know I am stunned too.
And the very best part...is that I had an awesome day just playing and having fun with my kids...that just does not happen enough. I too often let all my plans and such get in the way. But not this day :)

So here are some of the pics of our mini adventure.

For normally being a big fan of goats Gabe didn't quite know what do when meeting one face to face

Well of course just as the camera comes out so does a case of the sillies

And apparently its catching on

For being the vivacious little girl that she is - she is not into heights or speed (must be genetic) but never the less she conquered the slide.

AND you can always trust Gabe to find the dirt and a shovel - he is a major sandbox junkie

To see some of the photos that I ended playing around with - just click here

Whoa!!

2010-06-11T11:13:00.000-07:00

I feel as though the word 'busy' can describe us as a family fairly accurately during just about any day of the week....I mean we have two kids that automatically = busy.

BUT this last couple of weeks have taken busy to a whole new level. The greatest part is that it has been good busy - family, friends, trips, moving forward with the business. Very Cool. Yay summer!! Now if we could get a few days of sun I can add beaching it to the list!

Here are some pics of our recent adventures...

James graduated on Saturday - So proud of my little bro - these are just a couple of the family pics we got

Then we took off for a few days to visit with Ed's little Sis....

Even after many many hours spent in the van it was still fun!

Even spent one night in a hotel...such fun. They had an awesome water park and we just had a good time together as a family.

This is a favorite pit stop so we thought we would throw some rock in the river and take some pics at the same time. The only way to get Gabe to smile was to hold up the rock that he was going to throw next ...lol

Gabe on the search for more rocks. I love my life.

i heart faces - " Bare Feet"

2010-06-01T08:04:00.000-07:00

This week is in support of Soles4Souls be sure to check out there site and see what they are doing to make a difference in this world.

Here's my barefoot pic...

I love it - hot summer day at the water park for the first time.

Selah and Me...

2010-05-31T09:05:00.000-07:00

Well the day has come... Selah, our lab boarder collie, is going to a new home. I am sure most of the world has heard my exclamations of frustration with this dog. I have filled most everyone in every time she has unleashed her destructive force on some part of our life. And yet, of course, as I wander around the house collecting her toys and such I can't help but feeling a little sad and a little guilty.

Up to a year or two ago Selah was such an integral part of our family we literally bought our house and vehicle to accommodate her! She was my Christmas gift the first year we were married and quickly became our baby. At that point the love/frustration were fairly even but now I AM a mom to two kids and this furry baby of mine is draining my energy stores to the point that I often forget that I care about her at all.

The fact is that despite ALL my whining - I do care about this silly messed up dog. And I know that it was us that failed her - not the other way around. BUT
I am glad she now gets to go to a new home where she will get to be someones 'baby' again. They are always outdoors and she will have lots of room to run and play. Best part is that we will still get to see her as it is Ed's sister taking her. :)

So right now I am trying to focus on all the positive things...

Like no more ripped up garbage strewn around our house or lawn
No more dog poo!!!! Inside or out - I don't have to pick it up anymore
No more dog hair to collect on everything - although this may take quite a while to completely get rid of!
No more children getting run over or tail whacked
No more drool puddles!

I really do hope and pray it is the start of new, good season for both of us...Selah and myself...

The Crazy Busy Transformative Week...

2010-05-24T20:14:00.000-07:00

So Yes, This has been a very very BUSY week....BUT in the best way possible.

I have had not one but two of my very dear friends that live far too far away come for visits this week. It has been so nice to relax and reconnect in a face manner with these girls without getting a neck cramp from being on the phone too long.

The other part of my busy this last week has made me super excited but also a little anxious....I have officially launched my buisness. YIKES/YAY!?!?!
Twisted Lily Photography became a registered buisness this week and to kick things off I was swamped!!! Which is awesome. I have been so busy that facebook and my blog have even taken a back seat!

Feel free to pop on over to my Twisted Lily Blog to check out some of my latest work.

Anyway thanks for bearing with me and my unusually long hiatus this past week and a bit :)

i heart faces - "Faces and Flowers"

2010-05-17T18:59:00.000-07:00

So here is my little poser...yay faces and flowers

For The Record...

2010-05-12T14:48:00.000-07:00

So just for the record....

I am not old....yet. Some young punks at Jiu-Jitsu called us moms, 'old' the other day. GRRRRR
So for the record, YES I have two kids and a minivan BUT NO I am not old.

Also for the record, Milk may be good for you BUT if you are like me and can easily drink 5 classes a day, you may want to consider that at 160 cal a glass that is 800 cal a day!!! Almost half of my recommended daily intake!! Stupid yummy milk

To make matters worse what goes better with milk than oreos!?!? 2 oreos - 120 cal. UGG Are you kidding me - who can just eat two!?

And just to reiterate, my metabolism may have slowed down to the point that I am discovering some deeply depressing facts about my favorite snacks BUT I am still not old.

PS - I had a slushee after class today - and I briefly considered looking up how many calories one of those little puppies has but I thought better of it - I have had enough bad news for one day.

From Ed's Day to My Day...

2010-05-09T20:53:00.000-07:00

Ok so I wanted to run through my weekend which contained Ed's Birthday Friday, to Ed's Birthday Party Sat Night, To Mothers Day here on Sunday.

And I wanted to keep it in the simple format of highlights and 'lowlights'...here we go!!!

FRIDAY

Highlight: Ed's Birthday + Babysitter = Date Night!
Lowlight: Ed had a cold and felt like death
Highlight: I got my way and coerced him into going out
Lowlight: I was on a date with someone who felt like death
Lowlight/Highlight/Lowlight: Ed wanted to go out for Gourmet Hotdogs (???? I KNOW!!!)
But he forgot to get directions so I got to pick the restaurant...
Then my pick ended up being a dud - but it was OK because he couldn't taste the food anyway.
Highlight: We went to the drive in to watch a movie
Lowlight:It was a stupid movie
Highlight: We were still in bed by 11pm!!

SATURDAY

Highlight: Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu!!!
Lowlight: Ed still felt pretty death like and didn't want to spread the plague so he didn't get to play.
Highlight: We then got to hang out with my dad and shop for my mom all afternoon long.
Lowlight: Ed hates shopping and was trying to shop for my mothers day gift with the kids (and death) in tow.
Highlight:Ed was being so sweet and shopping for my gift anyway
Lowlight: We got home around 3 and needed to leave again by 6 for Eds party and I needed to make a carrot cake, cream cheese icing, pie shells (from scratch!) and lemon meringue filling (which I suck at because it is not an ADD friendly recipe) all before we left!
Highlight: I got it done!!!!
Highlight: We got to Ed's party and UFC night on time!! And we had a good time. Oh and everyone like the dessert.
Highlight: We were at home and in bed by 11:30!!

SUNDAY:

Highlight: I got my mothers day gift from Ed and the kids - Tuck the turtle from Gabe, A ballerina lamb from Eliana and a Phone Jack (????) ((which turned into a gift card with store credit)) from Ed
Lowlight: He also got me a recorder...like the musical instrument that makes you want to cut your ears off.
Highlight: Had breakfast and went to church with my parents.
Lowlight: The kids wanted to bring the recorder along.
Highlight: We had an afternoon BBQ out at the farm - SO much fun!!!
Lowlight: The kids played with the recorder all afternoon
Highlight: We came home and conveniently forgot the recorder at mom's house!! Happy Mothers Day Mom!

PS - Lowlight: After reading this to Ed he informed me that he found the recorder and it is in the van!! Guess the jokes on me....

Welcome Jaris...

2010-05-07T10:35:00.000-07:00

I had the wonderful privledge of taking Jaris' photos for our friends Leanne and Jeral. Leanne has posted most of the photos on her blog but I thought I would still post a couple of here for those of you that don't follow her blog.To see more of this photoshoot pop on over to http://twistedlilyphotography.blogspot.com
(I really am trying to get my photography site up and running in a current manor :S What can I say but that I am a work in progress!)

And The Winner Is....

2010-04-30T10:26:00.000-07:00

Well so this morning, with some help from Eliana, I put all the names in bowl and got Eliana to pick one out...

Of course if you have read the last post you will know that this is for the $20 gift card for Tim Hortons - to celebrate reaching my 100th post!

So thanks to all of you that left comments and became followers - it was really fun to read and see who is out there listening :)

Without further Ado....

The Winner is ....

Renee!!

I will get you your card...either next Tues or when ever you swing by..lol

100th Post!!! Celebrating with a giveaway....

2010-04-26T09:35:00.000-07:00

I really can't believe I have posted 100 times already!! I noticed the post numbers a few weeks back and thought I would have to do something special.

Now for those of you who blog - I am sure you have experienced the sometimes insecure and bizzar feeling of wondering if anyone reads your blog. The wierdest thing about blogging is that just when you are sure that not a soul in the world cares or is reading a word - you get your first comment.

Comments are lifewater for bloggers - of this I am certain. Weather you are blogging about life or sharing a piece of yourself or your art - you are sharing in hopes that it will find another out there somewhere that relates and is happy that you have shared.

Over the past 100 posts I have heard from many of you - so thanks!! As a sign of my appreciation I wanted to offer up a little giveaway....

A $20 Tim Hortons Gift Card

How this will work is that on Friday I will randomly choose one person that has left a comment on this post. You can leave any sort of message - even something as simple as 'I love timmies!!" and come Friday I will draw a name out of a hat (or bowl is more likely)

For an extra vote to be counted for your name become a follower (just click on the little box on the left hand side of the screen) and let me know when you comment that you did so! If you already are a follower also remind me in the comment section and that will count as an extra vote for you as well.

So be sure to check back Friday to see if you are the lucky winner!

An Annoucement and some Housekeeping...

2010-04-16T09:18:00.000-07:00

So I will keep this brief but wanted to share two things with all of you. First off I am excited to annouce that I have officially taken my first step into starting my own buisness. I received confirmation yesterday that my now registered buisness name is "Twisted Lily Photography"

I just loved this name for a couple of reasons. First of all I am so moved by beauty and to me that is what a Lily represents; and secondly, I love finding beauty in new and unexpected places and ways which is sometimes a twisted perspective :)

Anyway I will keep you all posted as that whole process moves along. My second annoucment is more of a housekeeping issue....I realized the other day that I am comming up to my 100th post!! I thought that this will be worth celebrating so keep checking my blog - as I have some special things in the works for that blog! (Can you say giveaway?) ((and no its not my dog!!))

A Maternity Shoot...

2010-04-14T16:10:00.000-07:00

So this was my first 'studio' (hello big black sheet and standing lamp) maternity shoot but I think it turned out pretty well. These two are such a cool couple and despite the makeshift/ mickey mouse setup it was really fun to do. If you can believe it - that little bit of a girl is preggo with twins!! She actually just had them this morning - two boys - so this blog is for them :)

Of Tea and Decoy Ducks...

2010-04-07T15:16:00.000-07:00

Easter this year was a little bit more hectic than usual. We had our traditional Egg hunt out at my parents farm on the Saturday but then Ed and I left the kids with their aunt and headed off for his stomping grounds that same evening.

Now Ed's hometown is the quintessential small town....then cut that town in half and those halves in quarters and you probably have double the population of - well lets just call it 'B' for anonymity's sake. They have one little general store that has everything and a post office.

This suited Ed's dad Fred just fine - he was all about horses and quads and hunt'n. Oh and apparently flammable liquid. I know this even more so now because the whole purpose of our trip was to sort through and clean out the four sheds he had filled up with 'stuff' and again flammable liquid. My part of this job was to empty the shed and sort everything into 3 piles - Garbage - Keepers - Flammable Liquid.
I think I seriously under-estimated Fred's need to save every last drop of paint thinner, and who knows what else, in small unmarked tobacco cans.
I learned the hard way that it is hazardous to open any containers that sloshes - I am sure I lost more than a few brain cells to inhaling too many fumes in an unventilated shed.

This weekend was not particularly kind to my brain cells. When we first arrived in 'B' we went to Nana Fran's. She had offered to let us crash at her house - which was great. Nana Fran had some company over and 'He' (again lets keep this anonymous) offered Ed and I tea or coffee before we sat down to visit. I took "Him' up on the tea. We sat down with our drinks and started to visit........Fast forward to the end of my cup of tea. There was a lull in the conversation and I was pondering what kind of tea I just drank. So naturally I asked the tea maker - "What kind of tea is this??" And he answered casually, "Chamomile and a bud of pot"

In retrospect I wish someone was videotaping my expression - I was so shocked, then angry, then shocked again, then felt like hmmm I guess I really don't care.
(!!!!! Bahahaha)
I did manage to sputter..."You drugged me!!!?? Then 'He' dove into some sort of speech about the benefits of pot and how healthy bla bla bla
I stopped listening.

Normally I am a light sleeper and Nana Fran's house is right next to train tracks which usually means I hardly sleep when I am there. Not that night - I hit the couch and I didn't wake up until the morning.

I found I cared a little more the next day!!!

Mostly we (Ed and I) have laughed the whole situation off but I am telling ya - apparently its not just at the clubs that you have to watch what you drink!

A February Wedding..

2010-04-06T12:48:00.000-07:00

Thoughts on The 'Other Side'...

2010-03-31T14:45:00.000-07:00

Well as you can imagine I have been thinking a lot about the 'other side' lately. We knew that Papa Stein wasn't healthy but it really wasn't at a point where I had lost hope that he would get better. In fact I was quite the opposite - I was very hopefull and optomistic that between the doctors and specialists they would be able to pin point what was going on and work towards a longer term solution. I mean 59 isn't very old!(For those of you who don't know the skinny on Fred's heart problems - basically his heart would periodically go out of rythm. This made any physical exertion very difficult. He went in twice and was cardioverted (heart shocked back into rythm) and it work quite well - he walked out of the hospital noticeably better but we had not gotten to a point in treatment where cardiologist were willing to talk about other options other than him continuing to go to the hospital when his heart went 'out' again.)

His felt as though his heart was out of rythm again the night before he passed away. That morning he just stopped breathing and then was gone.

Over the past couple of weeks we have talked a lot with each other and our kids about where Papa Stein went. We know that he is in heaven.

We also know that the idea of heaven and something beyond this life is hard at times to wrap our heads around. Its abstract and a mystery. It is not tangible and therefore takes faith and trust in the character of God. I know for most of us one of the largest truthes about God that we struggle with, is a cornerstone of his character - that He is good. Especially when we are feeling loss - where is the goodness in this situation!?!

As I question God and my own faith when things like this happen I have been reminded in so many different ways one thing that has brought me (and Ed!) so much confort over the last couple of weeks.

It is this, that although we see death as a scary and sorrowful thing - because it is a parting from ones we love - God's perspective on it is so much more beautiful and clear. When we die we get to shake off all the grime and muck of this life - all the things that held us back and broke our hearts and spirits are gone. We are free to understand who we were created to be and how great the Father's love for us. We will be redeamed - just as Christs sacrifice intended to make us!!
I particularly love this thought!!! We who struggle to understand love in its most basic forms will be free to feel its full effect without all the baggage and sorrow.
(Yay Easter!!)

Last Sunday I was struggling to pay attention and so grabbed a bible from the pew and started reading in 2 Corinthians 5. They had chosen this passage to read at Fred's funeral because he had a one point chosen Corinthians to do an extensive study on.
It just spoke of such hope in light of our sadness.

^1-5For instance, we know that when these bodies of ours are taken down like tents and folded away, they will be replaced by resurrection bodies in heaven—God-made, not handmade—and we'll never have to relocate our "tents" again. Sometimes we can hardly wait to move—and so we cry out in frustration. Compared to what's coming, living conditions around here seem like a stopover in an unfurnished shack, and we're tired of it! We've been given a glimpse of the real thing, our true home, our resurrection bodies! The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what's ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we'll never settle for less. 2 Corinthinans 5 (The Message)

and the other verse that keeps comming to mind is this one

Now we see only an indistinct image in a mirror, but then we will be face to face. Now what I know is incomplete,but then I will know fully,even as I have been fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12

How true is that...I know I don't see clearly right now but one day the hope and promise is that it will be known. I will be able to see.

I know this is a long bible filled post for some of you but in processing all of this - my faith in inherant. This is just me processing, so thanks for bearing with me.

I will close off here with a cute Eliana moment.
The other day while trying to explain to her that Papa Stein had died - I told her
"Eliana, Jesus came and got Papa Stein and took him to heaven."
To which she replied,
"How mommy, Jesus doesn't have a car!"

i Heart Faces - " Dramatic Black and White"

2010-03-29T13:24:00.000-07:00

i heart faces "Angles"

2010-03-22T08:24:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favorite pictures of my little girl. It was a different angle for me because to get her attention I usually am down on her level more...lol
I do ususally try to take new photos for these challanges but this has been a hard week.

Bye Papa Stein

2010-03-21T11:13:00.000-07:00

Some days are just days and some turn into the days you will never forget. Thursday we received a call that turned everything upside down. Ed's Dad wasn't breathing and the abulance was on the way.

We immediately started packing and making plans for a spontaneous trip 3 hrs away before we had made it out the door though we received the second call that he didn't make it.

Its a strange mix of sadness and numbness as we changed our plans to go pick up Eds youngest sister before heading back to their dads place. The next 24 hrs were almost exclusivly spent driving. Once we arrived it was a wirlwind of meeting with family and making arrangements.

Here we are 3 days later and we are back home for a few days before we head back for the Funeral on Friday.

I know this all sounds just factual and rather brief but I don't think I am anywhere near acctually processing any of this.

Papa Stein was good man and he will be missed.

Playing with a New Lens and Lightroom

2010-03-18T12:19:00.001-07:00

This is a photo I took with my new 50mm prime...I was just playing around and making Eliana sit for me. I loved her expression before the edits but I thought this turned out pretty neat.

A Mom Day...

2010-03-17T11:21:00.000-07:00

Somes days are more fun than others as a mom - and some days make you really earn your stripes.

Sick days seem to be the stripe days.

Today I caught my sons throw up in my hands. I think I earned a gold star for that one. But gory details aside I thought I would share my strategy for managing a sick day.

Towels and Linens!! Lots of them - all of them...anything flat and washable fabric is fair game. I layer them all over whatever bed is being used by the sicky and voila! Sicky bug do your worst!

When the inevitable mess comes I just strip away the top layer and after cleaning up the little person put them back into their already made bed. It works like a charm.

The only downside is that very first moment before you set up the towel bed ...when you just realize that they are sick and going to throw up all over the your carpet.... then cuping your hands under there little face is surprisingly effective.
And yes gross but as with so many other mom things - just don't think about it!!

Your Capture - "Quiet"

2010-03-11T10:32:00.000-08:00

So this is the first time participating in on of You Capture challenges but I just processed a pic that seemed to fit perfectly...So I thought I would stop watching from the sidelines and jump in.

Ever feel Stupid??

2010-03-11T09:49:00.000-08:00

For something that you really shouldn't feel stupid for?

So here is my moment - two days ago at Jui-Jitsu I was training with a friend of mine getting ready for the next tourny...this of course means that we start rolling by standing up instead of on our knees. I was going for a take down so I quickly side stepped to grab her gui and bam! My ankle that was supposed to be supporting me decided to take a vacation. It felt like it had exploded - I lay there trying not to make a scene but all the while making a scene. Apparently me trying to not cry looks like I am laughing...so it ended up ok because the fact that my friend was still laughing at my not laughing - that looked like laughing - actually made me laugh. We got to the bench and my instructor took a look - I was shocked. It hurt so bad to touch or move it and yet even after sitting there for half an hour no swelling - no bruising. This was weird.
Once I got up the courage - I found I could hobble so I headed out to my van and headed home.
Silly ankle still hurt but I figured no swelling meant no real injury.
Ed was worried that something may still be wrong so he told me to go to the doc in the morning.
I got in early in the next day and the doc did not give me any good news. I guess no swelling or bruising can be a bad sign. Basically she was pretty convinced I had a fractured bone in my ankle and if that was not the case that my ligament had torn right off and that I would need to go get an ortho consult. Woah!! For an ankle that was just sore and stupid stiff this was a little crazy. But I mean she is a doctor - she should know what she is talking about right!?!

I went and got the xray and hung around town like they asked waiting for the other appointments - that they never ended up calling me about. Turns out doc went home and I had to call the office to find out what was going on.
"Oh there is no fracture so you just have a sprain"
Thanks Einstein.
What about this stupid ligament thing you have got me all stressed out about.
"We will get the doc to look over things and call you in the morning for a follow up appointment"
Ok Good Morning world.
No call from the doc - I thought I might as well call instead of holding my breath.
"Nope doc says everything looks fine its just a little sprained."
Well duh - thats what I was what I thought before I came into see you experts in the first place. Ugh.

Anyway they gave me a number for physio that the doc wants me to go to. Do I go?? Its a sprained ankle for heavens sake and the real crux of the matter is that I think my doc may be on crack and have very little confidence in her judgement right now. I don't think I want to put out the money on her recomendation.

So why do I feel stupid?? I think because I wasted a whole day yesterday running around and Ed took time off to watch the kids and was all worried and anxious for nothing. ugh.